


It is what it is

by LaughingLoudly



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:52:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingLoudly/pseuds/LaughingLoudly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is in love with Louis. Louis doesn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Just before the TMH tour started things got a little tense. Especially with Harry and Louis. Everyone knew Harry had feelings for Louis and like every story goes, Louis didn’t know anything about it. No one ever talked about it, but they kindof knew, until the week before the first concert.

Harry sat in the living room and was watching Nothing Hill when Louis came back from a date with Eleanor. Harry had introduced them to each other and he hated it. Why had he done that, was he really so stupid. And since that day he wanted to kick himself for doing so.

“Hello.” Louis said as he dropped on the couch next to Harry kicking his shoes off.

“How was the date?” Harry asked not taking his eyes of the television.

“It was fine.” Louis answered.”What are you watching?” He asked frowning a bit.

“You don’t know this movie?” Harry shifted his eyes to Louis looking amused.

“No, should I?” He said looking at Harry one eyebrow raised.

“Uhm yes everybody knows this movie, Lou. It's Nothing Hill.” He said moving his eyes back to the screen scared he had already stared at Louis beautiful eyes for to long. “It's about this really big movie star who meets this normal person and they fall in love.” Harry said smiling, taking a pillow and pressing it against his chest.

“Do they live happily ever after to?" Louis asked jokingly. Harry laughed and threw his pillow at Louis face.

“Very funny.” he said.

“Okay I’m going to change into my pjs and I’ll watch it with you.” Louis said and got up running to his room. Harry’s smile slowly disappeared when Louis left. He really adored that boy. The fans were right he had fallen for Louis. Funny, hyper, sassy Louis.

Having a crush on your band mate isn’t the best thing. He wasn’t allowed to stare at him to long or hug him, and being Larry Stylinson stopped almost every type of contact.

But only in public, at home things were still the same. Louis would hug him when he made dinner. That happened sometimes, the hugs didn’t last long but Harry loved every second of them. They had just always been so close.

“Harry?” Louis said snapping him out of his thoughts.

“What?” He asked looking up through his eyelashes

“I said move over so I can sit next to you, I brought your blanket.” He said holding up Harry’s blanket and smiling. The curly haired boy moved over and Louis dropped him next to him.

“Now this is cozy.” Louis said snuggling closer, “Now tell me what I missed.” Louis said.Harry smiled and started talking. Louis apparently didn’t like the movie much, cause he fell asleep halfway through. Head on harry shoulder all curled up.This was the closest Harry would come to being with Louis and he wanted more but was happy with what he had now.

The movie ended and Harry tried to wake Louis, but all Louis did was holding up his arms and said, “Carry me?” Harry smiled and turned around letting the older boy throw his arms around him. He really was small. Louis might be older but when asleep or almost asleep he was the biggest kid harry knew. Letting Louis slide down his back on his bed made Louis open his eyes. Harry just turned around and started walking away. But then Louis said something.

“What do you think about El?” He asked Harry making stop in his tracks. He didn’t reply.

“You don’t like her, right?” Louis said still looking at Harry’s unmoving back. How did he know harry though he hide it so well, at least well enough to fool Louis. Harry turned around and smiled.

“Really? You think that? Lets just talk about it tomorrow. When you’re not half asleep.” He said and walked way.

He could feel the feather like touches of a finger moving on his body, the warm breath of another human on his neck and the familiar smell of Louis. A sleepy smile appeared on his lips. 

“Hi gorgeous.” Louis whispered in his ear pressing his lips on Harry’s neck giving him a little kiss. He turned a bit so he could press closer to the boy. He breathed the incredible sent of Louis, never wanting this dream to end. 

He woke up eyes snapping open blinking in the dark of his room all alone in his king sized bed his arm once again searching for a body that he could only find in his dreams

The next morning when harry got in the kitchen Louis was already eating breakfast. Harry grabbed a bowl and a spoon. He fancied some cereal.

“Good morning, sleep well?” Harry asked and Louis nodded while sewing on a sandwich. “So what do we have to do today?” He asked Louis swallowed

“Practise.” He said and Harry nodded.

“So wanna talk about yesterday?” Louis asked Harry. Harry sighed and hoped he put one a believable face because he looked up and told one of the biggest lies ever.

“You really think I hate her Louis? Because I don’t, she’s really nice and good with the fans and she loves you so what would I want more for my best friend?” Louis face stayed expressionless, he stared at Harry for a moment but then nodded and left for a shower.

-

“Boys, please listen for 5 minutes!” Cody screamed Louis stopped running around like a chicken so Niall stopped laughing Harry and Liam looked up from the paper they where holding. And just like that everyone was quiet.

“Thank you, so where is Zayn.” Harry hadn’t noticed Zayn left.

“Toilet maybe?” he answered shrugging.

“No he went outside, smoking” Liam said.

“Okay let’s go through the whole show.” He said “Louis you start on the left Niall on the right …”

Harry zoned out already knowing what Cody would say, he’s always stressing about the show but we as a group already know everything, Harry could do it in his sleep. Please let him stop whining and let me sleep. Harry would need it the coming weeks, early rise, late night, fans mobbing them. Harry loves his fans but they can get a little out of control, just a little.

“Come on Harry, be active.” Louis said snapping him out of his thoughts

“Yeah sure ” He said and started going through the routine just like Cody wanted him to.

The moment they were set free, as Harry liked to call it. He left and decided to walk around London for a while. So he went to the closest Starbucks ordered the usual and walked a bit. Took a couple of pictures with fans, some of them asking him to say hi to one of the members. He bought a new t-shirt and really enjoyed his hour of being alone. When he started walking back to where he parked his car it started snowing.

Maybe Lou would want to make a snowman. Driving home he thought about making one with Lou. They could have a hot chocolate to warm up again andd watch a move while doing that.

But when he got home he found Louis and Eleanor together on the cough cuddling and drinking hot chocolate. He stared for a moment to long feeling reality’s slap in the face before saying “Hi” and Louis caught him. Shit.

“How are you El?” He asked.

“I'm fine thanks and you?” she asked a happy smile on her face. He normally would talk to them much but he wanted Louis to think he liked her so small talk it was.

“I’m good, what brings you here?” What a stupid question ‘what brings you here?’ her fucking boyfriend lives here you twat.

“Louis invited me for a movie so I came.” She said still with the blinding smile.

“That’s nice,” He said falling silent. Looking at the other couch, “I’m going to my room, bye Eleanor.” He said and marched out of the living room.

He let himself fall on his bed and curled up, closing his eyes and letting sleep take over.

He dreamed of Louis again, just like every night.


	2. Chapter 2

That night Eleanor didn’t stay over. Louis had noticed Harry’s weird hesitation and he was sure he was lying this morning. Eleanor left because she had to go home tomorrow something about her mum inviting her for a family happening he would normaly go too but he had practise to worry about.

So when he kissed her goodbye he closed the door and went to Harry’s room. He knocked twice but no answer, so he just entered.Harry wouldn't mind.

The boy was curled up in a fetus position knees pulled up against his chest, hands under his cheek. He wasn’t sleeping peaceful, his eyes were shut tight and his brow was furrowed. He still had his shoes on just like his coat. He must have been tired to fall asleep like this.

Louis briefly considered leaving him like that but sighed and walked over and sat down pulling Harry’s shoes of his feet and tried getting his coat of. The sleeping boy relaxed at the older boys touch. His face went soft and he sighed in his sleep. Louis moved Harry so he could place the covers over him and left him with a ruffle through Harry’s beautiful curls. He’d ask Harry tomorrow.

-

Louis woke to an alarm playing marimba. He groaned and opened one eye to see his phone lighting up informing him of his alarm and a message of Liam telling him that the snow prevented them from making it to the practice area.

No practice.

He stopped the annoying sound and turned back around so he could keep sleeping, but that wasn’t the case. Someone opened his room and walked over to his window to let the light inside and wake him.

“No don’t, light will kill me!” Louis tried to say but it came out hoarse and croaked his morning voice taking over. But he didn’t expect the person to jump on his bed and waking him like a 5 year old.

“But look Lou! It’s snowing!” Harry said voice getting high at the end of the sentence.

Louis started laughing at the happy boy on top of him, "It's just snow Harry."

“Louis please make a snowman with me I wanted to make one yesterday but-“ He cut himself of and started over “I wanted to make one but I was really tired, please Lou please? “ He almost begged. Louis sighed and smiled Harry knew he loved snow. Unlike El.

‘Ewwww it’s cold, disgusting and wet!’

“Let’s go!”

-

They were running around like little children, throwing snowballs at each other.

“Eat snow!” Louis screamed and threw his snowball hitting harry square in the face. He spluttered and spit some of the snow out of his mouth and got some out of his eyes.

Louis was laughing hard, hard enough not to notice Harry running up to him and pushing him into the snow. He let out a girlish yelp.

“You are such a girl.” He said laughing and lying half on top of Louis

“I’m not!” he said and pushed Harry off.

“If you say so.” Harry said, “Lets make a snow man.” Harry said as started roling the head while Louis made the first ball and together they made a middle piece. Harry smirked at Louis and said “Lou you should get the carrot.”

“No, no carrot it’s going to be a little stone just like the eyes.” He said and finished the face. Harry got his phone out and opened twitter.

“Louis go stand next to the snowman and smile.” He took a picture and posted it.

 

Harry styles @Harry_Styles

Look what @Louis_Tomlinson and me made today. What did you guys do today?

 

And he posted it. Louis looked at Harry’s tweet. He looks like shit. All wet and red nosed, but the fans seemed to like it. So he smiled and looks up to see Harry smiling at him.

“Let's go inside I’m completely drenched.” Louis said Harry nodded and followed Louis inside. Getting in the kitchen and dropping there soaked socks with all the rest of their wet clothes in a pile on the floor.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Louis asked pushed his hair out of his eyes.“Or bake something, I feel like baking.” he said knowing he would just watch Harry and lick the spoon.

“No, ‘cause you’ll be watching and I’ll be doing all the work.” Louis curled his nose and smiled.

“You know me so well Harold.”

“Lets watch a TV then.” Being outside for 2 hours made sure that frostbite bit all their toes. They where huddled in blankets in front of the TV and a cup of tea in their hands.

“Your nose is still bright red.” Harry said laughing at Louis. He had been looking at the older or for a little while now. Staring at his bright blue eyes and pale skin his hair standing up right from being wet and drying. His own hair was probably worse but Louis was cuter.

Harry looked at the table in front of him where 2 cups of cold chocolate stood from yesterday. Things became harder when things like this happened, the moment Harry thought about never being able to hold Louis like he wanted.

It hurt. He knew Louis wouldn’t be disgusted or something like that but he was scared of lose Louis the way he was now. And it didn’t help that Louis kept getting text from Eleanor and he giggled at some of them. He hated Eleanor.

“Yours is too, and your hair is sticking out everywhere.” He said looking over at Harry who found him getting distracted by Louis beautiful eyes again. Like a child he stuck out his tongue and closed his eyes tightly and looked and back to the TV. Focusing on cupcake wars.

Harry made everything into a distraction from Louis. Like cooking. He would make long and complicated recipice and put on loud meaningless music. No songs about love. When he was feeling really down he would go running forcing his body to wear itself down so he wouldn’t have time to think about it or feel overwhelmed by it all. He knew that he was gay and he should tell the guys at least that but he didn’t want anything to change so he just kept quiet.

Zayn knew he had dropped a few hints that he did know but never asked him. Liam never really said anything on the matter and Niall. Niall would kiss everyone when he was drunk so Harry didn’t think he would mind or have thought about it.

Harry looked at his watch it’s six thirty, time to start dinner.

“What do you want to eat?” Harry asked Louis pretended to think about it and than said “Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“You’re helping me with the meatballs.” He said and stood up Louis moaned but followed Harry into the kitchen. Louis made the balls and poured water in the pot and let it boil. He moved behind Harry and hugged him from behind.

“You are like my wife or something.” Louis said “You clean, cook, do the laundry and other things like that.” Harry let out a barking laugh covering his mouth with his and as fast as he could.

“Really?” He asked “Why don’t you just do your own work so I wont need to do it and be your wife.” Louis let Harry go and hopped on the counter.

“Nah, I don’t like cleaning.” He said “Lets play a game. Truth or dare, but things that can be done here in the kitchen.”

“Okay.” Harry said “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” He said with a smile.

“Eat a spoon full of butter.” Harry said.

“Eww That gross.” But he got up and did it pulling funny faces.

“Okay my turn. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Harry said.

“Why do you hate Eleanor?”


	3. Chapter 3

The silence was long and uncomfortable. How did Louis know? Maybe he knew all along or since yesterday. Did he not lie convincingly enough? Why would he ask that.

“Louis why does it matter if I like her or not?” Harry eventually said.

“Because my best friends opinion matters.” He said quietly.

“So you don’t like her?” Harry stirred the pot of spaghetti and looked up.

“Honestly?” He asked Louis.

“No, that’s why I asked you already more than 10 times. Yes of course the truth!” Louis impatiently said.

“She isn’t my favourite person on the planet.” Harry said “But if she makes you happy and all that’s it than I’m okay with it.” He said trying to make it better.

Louis didn’t look really happy.

“Why don’t you like her?” he asked.

“Because I don’t trust her and-... yeah I don’t really know I just get this vibe from her and I don’t like it.” He mumbled, making a motion with his hands like he send a vibe into the room.

“Please set the table?” Harry asked quietly Louis stared at him a little longer and got up from his place on the countertop and started getting the table ready. The meal was quiet and quick. They didn’t really talk for the rest of the day until night time. When Louis informed him Eleanor would come by tomorrow evening.

Next day went by like yesterday cold snowy and Louis talking politely to him. Not like he used to to polite. Until Harry had enough

“Really Louis this is the reason I didn’t tell you I don’t like her, Louis just talk to me like I never told you. I Just don't want to fuck her on anything!” Louis eyes shot up to Harry.

“Don’t us that kind of language it doesn’t suit you.” And that was all he said and walked to his bedroom.

“God damn it Louis.” He said and let himself fall on top of the couch hand over his eyes and just though about his past where things were easier. He eventually fell asleep there.

When he woke it was of screaming voices.

“Okay why don’t you fuck your best friend like you have been doing for the last month, not like you cared about me.” Louis shouted.

“I didn’t fuck him!” Eleanor screamed back making Harry surface to consciousness completely.

“Louis please let me make it up to you. I wont do it again. Never. I care about you, I didn’t know what I was doing.” She said a lot quieter he could hear she was crying.

“I already gave you a second chance, remember?“ He mumbled and continued with a “Please leave, were over.” And the silence overtook all. Harry hadn’t heard her leave but when Louis came in with tears on his face and a tissue in his hand. Harry stood up and almost ran to Louis.  
“Ssst everything is going to be fine.” He said and took him in his arms. Louis’s arm immediately wrapped around Harry’s body and he buried his face in Harry’s neck and cried.

Louis had never cried much over a girl but loving her and being cheated on didn’t feel good.

“Harryyyy.” He whined and Harry just understood, like they just understand a lot of things without talking, they just knew with a touch or one word, a look. Louis moved his arms to Harry’s neck and Harry picked him up placing Louis legs around his and taking him up to Louis’s room. Louis wasn’t heavy not when he needed Harry. He gently placed Louis on his bed and he took the cover and tucked him in.

“Call me if you need me.” Harry started making his way out of Louis room when Louis called

“Harry please stay. I’m sorry for being angry with you over a girl. I shouldn’t have been so-“

“Stop it Louis, now isn’t the time to apologize. You shouldn't even apologize.” He said and walked back to him and got in next to Louis.

“Just try to sleep we’ll talk in the morning.” Louis scooted close to Harry so he was pressed against the younger boy.

“Sorry for making a mess of your t-shirt.” He said weakly.

“Don’t apologize.” Harry said smiling again and pressed a kiss to Louis hair.

“I don’t even want to cry, I hate crying.” He croaked

“Sleep.” Harry said and Louis breathing slowed. His sniffles stopped and he fell asleep on Harry. Harry moved his arm a bit so he could wrap them around Louis’s sleeping body. Holding him and protection him from the scary world outside of their house. Harry wanted to protect him, he wanted to make him happy again, he wanted to make Louis feel loved, and he wanted Louis. He closed his eyes and breathed in once and let go his last bit of consciousness.

“Goodnight Louis.“ He mumbled and fell asleep.

When Louis woke his eyes felt like they were filled with sand. They hurt and that was an indicator that he had spent his evening crying and that made him remember everything about that night. Eleanor, the fight, crying and Harry caring for him falling asleep in his arms. Harry was the warm comfortable pillow he was lying on. He sighed and snuggled closer. Harry really was his best friend. He opened his eyes to see that Harry was waking up to. He was blinking the sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning.” He croaked in his morning voice.

“Good morning, sorry for using you as a pillow.” Louis said “and letting me use your shoulder to cry on.” He added after a thought his cheeks flushed.

“You know what they say, a shoulder to cry on become a dick to ride on.” There was a moment of silence and then Louis sniggered.

“Larry all the way?” He really didn’t see what the fans saw but if they liked it he didn’t mind, as long as he didn’t have anything to do with they’re little fantasy. As long as it stayed a fantasy

“You want to watch some TV?” Harry asked “or just sleep a bit more?”

“Sleep.” Louis said, “If you don’t mind, I’m just really tired that’s all.” And ended with a yawn.

“Okay“ Harry mumbled and shifted a bit and Louis turned around letting Harry spoon him. It had been a long time since they had been this close. And even longer since they slept together. Eleanor didn’t like the fact that they were so close. She asked him not to sleep with Harry again. She got jealous. Not matter how many times Louis told her that they were just friends. She would always pester him with questions about Harry and what they did and why they lived together. Louis wasn’t gay. She could be really annoying about things like that, but he still loved her. Louis closed his eyes shut his brain of and breathed in and eventually fell asleep.

When he woke up again Harry was gone and he was alone. His arm stretched on the bed looking for his life-sized teddy bear. But the bed was empty. He got up and threw the sheets of his body the cold finding him in a second.

“God why is it so cold here?” he said to himself and ran to his closet and got one of Harry's warm hoodies and threw a glance at his closet mirror he really looked tired. His eyes small and a bit red, he sighed and pulled his hood over his head and left.

The moment he opened the door he could smell Harry cooking. He practically ran to the kitchen and threw his arms around Harry, hugging him from behind and asked,“What are you making?” While watching harry stir a pan with chicken and vegetables.

“Chicken wok.” He answered and turned so Louis let him go.

“How are you?” Harry asked looking at him sitting on the table.

“I’m sad and angry so I’m going to be really clingy.” Harry nodded and opened his arms with a silly smile on his lips.

“We’ll eat and watch TV all day another snow day.” Harry said as Louis buried his head in Harry’s neck.

“Now go to the living room and I’ll come and bring us our food.” Harry pushed Louis of him and went to grab 2 bowls. Filling them both and sat next to Louis who was holding out a hand for his bowl.

“Thanks,” he mumbled “ and were watching Harry potter.” He added and laughed at the curly haired boys reaction.

Three movies and a breakdown further Harry’s leg were sleeping and normally Louis would be a ball of energy, but yeah someone had made sure Louis was sad. And Harry hated that someone more then when she was together with Louis. The movie credits stared rolling and he looked over to Louis. He was one the verge of crying again.

He could try to make Louis laugh and he knew just what would do the trick. He pulled out his phone and it looked up top 10 Disney songs. It started with ‘I’ll make a man out of you.’ Louis looked up at the sudden music playing and was surprised when Harry held his hand out smirk on his face. Louis gaped at him in disbelieve did Harry really just ask him to dance? But than he started laughing, loud and happily surprised.

“Be a man.” Harry sang so Louis took Harry’s offered hand and noticed how small his was. Harry pulled he up and Louis almost hit him but Harry made him twirl, his and Harry’s laugh sounding loud in the room. They were dancing silly and singing loud when the song ended and another started.

“Aladin!” Louis shouted, “I haven’t seen that in like 10 years!” Harry smiled at Louis reactions.

“We could watch it or hold a Disney movie marathon on tour.” Harry said while they moved closer dancing slower. But still moving silly.

“Sure where do we go again after London?” He asked biting on his lip making Harry want to kiss him. Louis breaking up with Eleanor challenged him, keeping of and away from Louis was harder. He wanted tell hem that she wasn’t worth the tears, and how beautiful he was and that he never would cheat on him.

“Harry? Are you there?” Louis waved his free hand in frond of him.

Harry blinked “What?” shit he had been staring to long! He noticed and now everything would change.

“You zoned out just now.” Louis said “ But now that you are listening, I asked you want the second city is we visit?” Harry relaxed and tried to get his breathing under control. Hopefully Louis would think it’s from dancing.

“Glasgow or Cardiff I don’t know.” He mumbled. Louis nodded and they fell silent and just danced both drowning in their own thoughts. Harry think about why he had to be gay and his thoughts were darkening by the second. Louis about Eleanor and why he had been so foolish and trusted her after the first time of cheating.

Both getting closer to each other and no one noticed the song change to ‘Can you feel the love tonight.’ Louis looked up and saw Harry was deep in thought, was looking almost through him. His eyes were glazed over, mouth a bit opened and tongue tip sticking out. His hair was sticking out everywhere. He moved his hand from Harry’s waist, where they had landed not to long ago and moved up to his hair and tried to mat Harry’s hair down. But when their eyes met something in him snapped and his was drawn to him like a magnet. Louis wasn’t thinking he was just feeling the dark hole pulling him deeper and deeper down. So he filled it with what he knew would help or at least let him forget it. Louis was focusing on forgetting and nothing else.

Harry was pulled back into reality when Louis’s hand touched his hair and almost petted him like a dog. He couldn’t help it he wanted Louis. He lent down the same time Louis stood up on his toes and then their lips touched. Louis could feel him forgetting everything that bothered him a second ago, and could only focus on Harry’s lips on his. They were soft and warm and inviting. So he threw his arms around Harry’s neck drowning in the kiss.

Harry was stunned, not understanding what Louis was doing but the feeling quickly disappeared when Louis moved his lips and bit on Harry’s under lip. He was never going to forget this. Louis on the other hand had now seen the light and now knew why every girl wanted him and why it was always ‘Harry and co’ in the magazines. Harry was everything and the most important thing was that Harry helped him forget.

“Please help me forget?” Louis mumbled against his lips pleading.

“No.” Harry said feeling the hurt settle in his chest. “You need to sleep and just get over it like everyone else.” He said knowing Louis was just hurt and wanted attention and a distraction. Louis nodded and walked to Harry’s room and threw him self on the bed and crawled under the cover. Making a padding motion on the bed so harry would follow him. Harry walked over keeping his eyes on the floor scared of what he would see in Louis’s eyes. Acceptance? Fear? Friendship? Or just nothing? Harry didn’t know how he would react, maybe it hadn’t settled in yet, he didn’t real knew what the impact a kiss could have in their relationship.

“Let me change first.” He said letting his trouser fall to the floor and pulling his shirt over his head. Searching a semi clean one so he could sleep in it. When he found one he pulled it one and got into bed.

“Thanks for making me laugh today.” Louis said and placed his head on Harry’s chest and fell asleep. Harry lay awake for some time before he was blessed with the sleep the way he always has, dreaming about Louis and a familiar colour of blue.


	4. Chapter 4

When Louis opened his eyes he freaked out. He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it. He moved to the bathtub and sat down, hands in his hair.

_Why did I really do that yesterday! I didn't even know what I was thinking! Kissing Harry isn't the cure to a broken heart. It did help a bit. He took the pain away. NO! I'm not going to do that again ever. I'm not gay or bi, I'm straight I've just broken up with my girlfriend of 2 years and that means something, doesn't it? I mean it's not that I want Harry that way. But he kissed back may it's Harry’s fault and not mine. He shouldn’t have kissed me back. I'm not gay and neither is he so why kiss? O god we have to talk about this. No just avoid Harry. Yes that's do that. Goddamn, it’s all Harry’s fault._

Deep down Louis knew he was wrong and being stubborn and being an asshole to Harry but he wasn't gay, he couldn’t be gay that would mean the all he ever wanted was never going to happen. Never coming home to his wife making dinner, never kissing her on the cheek or buying flowers for her and not having kid with the person he loved. No that is not right, he isn't going to give up on that like it's nothing. He just didn't want to be gay or have a fabulous gay life. No way.

Louis was crying by the end of his brain making that kind of a discovery. He felt like his brain was hyperactive and he could stop thinking about it. He shook his head trying to get every confusing thought out of it and making the torturous thoughts go away and leave him be.

He got up and looked at his reflection he looked tired and his eyes bugged out of his face. He closed his eyes and wondered why this happened now. The tour, days away and breaking up with El.

He opened his eyes again and he let the water run cupping his hands under the stream and letting it fill and than splashed it in his face. It didn't have the wished effect and made Louis more desperate. He took a shower and got out in record time. Why am I being so angsty? He took a deep breath and went to his room to get dressed. He chose black skinny jeans with a black shirt and a hoodie witch was blue. He walk to the living room took a piece of paper from the printer and wrote ‘Hi harry went to Liam be back tonight.’ and lay it on the table in the kitchen and left.

They all lived in the same sort of complex. It was just a really big house with for different houses in them you could say. He ran to Liam’s floor knocked and just like he expected Liam was awake and in his bathrobe.

"Louis, how are you awake at this hour it's 8 in the morning?!" He said in disbelieve gaping at Louis like he had grown a second head.

"I wanted to talk." He said weakly. "Can I come in?" Liam stepped away and let him pass. His living room was about the same as theirs but a lot more neat. He had a carpet that was cleaned and his windows were spotless. Liam was a little neat freak. But on tour he could be a dirty pig. Louis still doesn't understand it.

"Have you eaten anything? I could make you something." Liam proposed.

"Just a glass of water if that okay." He answered Liam nodded as they both walked to the kitchen. Louis sat opposite the chair where Liam always sat. He observed as Liam filled the glass and screwed the bottle shut.

"So what's wrong?" He asked placing the glass in front of him. For a second he thought he was going to tell Liam about him and Harry but then changed his mind and went with "El and I broke up."

"Louis why, what happened?" Liam asked being the comforting friend and look sorry for him.

"She cheated 2 times and I didn't give her a 3rd chance." He sighed and drank his water all at once.

"I'm so sorry for you, you really don't deserve something like this." He said and took another bite from his sandwich.

"Should I give her another chance?" Louis asked making Liam shock on the decision he was asked to make.

"Uhm I wouldn't I mean Danny gave me one and I didn't use it right. But you’re your choise." He had been dancing with another girl once and the pictures got out making her break it of forever. She didn't really talk to them anymore. She was kind enough to not tell the public what really happened between them. And made it look like they were still friends.

"Yeah women." Louis groaned, " She kept saying that it was an accident and she didn't want it to happen. But at that moment I had enough. I don't know if I made the right choice." He finished.

Liam drank the last from his coffee and looked him in the eye and said "The thing is that you felt something then that was enough to break up with her, if you got back together that thing would still be there wouldn’t it?"

That made Louis think maybe he was right.  He just had enough of her bullshit whining about Starbucks and shopping. The only had shopping dates didn't they? "Yeah you're probably right. I just- I don't know, it's hard to let go of old habits I guess." He said and sighed again.

"Can I stay here today?" Louis asked Liam looked at him suspicious but then he rolled his eyes and answered with "Yeah why not." getting up and cleaning his table. They spent the day baking cookies and talking about the tour that’s coming. Louis is kinda happy that there is going to be a lot of things happening and there isn’t going to be a lot of quiet time. Louis and Liam had a fifa game and Louis won. Liam wasn’t going to go down without a fight and he challenged him

“2 out of 3.” And started the game again. Louis won the 3 games. He got home around 21:30 and by the smell he could tell harry had been cooking.

He had made poire belle Hélène. Louis apparently made enough noise to make harry look over his shoulder and see Louis there. He sighed and walked over to him to hug him but Louis tensed and pulled away not wanting the close contact. Harry immediately stepped back and asked, “How are you?”

Louis didn’t look him in the eyes when he answered with a simple, “I’m fine.” and turned around to head to his bedroom. Harry was left standing in the kitchen feeling the hurt nesting in his chest determent to stay a long time. He didn’t eat his creations just let them stand on the table as he threw his cooking shirt off and walked away not wanting to see it. See how manic he was, by cooking so much and being so hurt at Louis reacting like that. Harry needed a shower.

There were 3 days left of doing nothing. Only getting ready for the concert. And he would focus on that and not on Louis rejection. Harry nails bit into his skin making little halve moon prints appear on his hands. He knew Louis would act like that, he knew he would freak.

_Than why does it hurt so much?_

He drags his tired body towards his bedroom when he sees Louis's door was shut made a pang of pain shoot thru him.

_I'm not going to cry, not over this and not over Louis._

He crawled in his bed pulling the cover to his chin and then made a little nest of his bed and tried to sleep. At least he would still have dream Louis. The one that Harry knew would never exist. When couldn't sleep he’d find playing a bit of music on his phone would sing him to sleep. But that didn't happen either. Harry had a night of misery ahead. He looks at his room. It was a mess so he decided to clean it. He sorted all the dirty clothes and threw all the paper cup and napkins from Starbucks away. And filled his closet with fresh and clean clothes. He didn't think he had anything else to do so he got back into bed and listened to some music. He fell asleep around 3 in the morning.

Louis could hear Harry running around in his room. He heard him stub his toe once. The hopping gave him away. Louis sighed. Fall asleep, fall asleep. He willed himself. But sleep didn't come until he could hear harry no longer, and he figured Harry had gone to bed. Louis closed his eyes and found his dreams to be filled with things he wanted to avoid the most.

Kissing Harry and how it made him feel. But he wasn't gay. His brain needed to remember that. The morning he woke up to Liam calling him awake to tell him to get his ass ready 'cause they'd be here in about 10 minutes. Why hadn't Harry woken him up? He jumped up seeing the rain had made the snow disappear leaving puddles of water and mushy piles of something that used to be snow, something that used to be beautiful.


	5. Chapter 5

They had still a few days to rehearse the tour with it starting the 27th of February and that being 3 days away. Harry was beginning to feel the nerves. He hoped everything went well for their first concert of the tour. And that people would like it. I mean they could love the songs but hate the show right or what If he messed up or sang bad. He just hoped the fans would have the best day of their lives. Liam was getting nervous too, he started biting his nails and when he had bitten them to the edges he’d bit his fingers, until Zayn came up to him to stop him doing it. 

"You'll bite your hole finger of once." He said teasingly and that made Liam smile. Niall was surprisingly okay with everything since Louis was now a usual presence when Niall was somewhere. He didn't really hang or joked with Harry any more. Harry would talk to Zayn and Liam and sometimes join Niall and Louis but he would never talk or look at Harry and so he or Harry left. Not wanting any trouble in the band.

They thought they were subtle but the whole band suffered from they weird Larry relationship. Constantly worrying about them. Wondering what happened to their playful relationship, if they still had one. Louis usually came home late or not at all. Harry would always wait until he came home. He slept on the sofa a lot.  Waking with an aching back. He missed Louis and their bantering but Louis avoided every kind of contact.

On the morning of interview day Monday the 26th Harry got a call from Nick asking him for an interview. Harry agreed since they had a few interview all day long. So he answered the usual pre tour question being "Are you excited for the tour?"

"Yeah of course I'm excited, I mean who wouldn't be, traveling the world with your friends and preforming almost every night." Harry answered looking at his nails he really needed to cut them they were getting to long and hurt him whenever he made a fist.

"Yeah that's right and what about the other boys, how are they acting?" Nick questioned.

"They are all fine and pretty hyper." He said "It's funny 'cause sometime Louis make Niall laugh which makes him relax but Liam gets annoyed at their child like behaviour and get nervous." He took a deep breath. "Then we have Zayn that's just really quiet when his nervous and he just materializes next to Liam scaring him. We just don't hear him approach, he's like a ninja." Harry concluded. "That should be funny, -"

His co host cut in and asked "I've hear Louis and Eleanor Calder broke up do you know anything."

Harry didn't think a question about Louis would be asked but answered with "I don't know really Louis keeps his relationships to himself." 

"So you're not jealous of her." Harry closed his eyes and answered

“I don't really want to talk about it." And that set of a bomb.

"So you are." she accused "Jennifer I don't think he wants to talk about it, but I've got to say that it's was an interesting answer.”

"So talk about your favourite fans." Nick threw into the interview.

Harry though about it "I like all fans."

"Even the loud ones that jump on stage?"

Harry laughed "Their are pretty funny."

The interview went on a bit further about his likes for girl 'What do you like in a girl.' he really loved that question. Not.

“I like a person that’s happy and know how to hold a conversation with you.” He had that like practiced like his own songs.

"Okay or times up thank for calling harry, and have fun with the tour." Nick said

"Thanks bye!" And the call ended.

Harry dropped his phone on the bed placed his hands in front of his eyes and stood there. Not understanding what just happened what had he just said. Louis was going to kill him. Not only because of the girlfriend break up but also the rumours that he just started. There would be videos, audio and whatever made about that and he knew it.

"Fuck my life." he mumbled into the empty room and let his hands drop. Why couldn't his life be easy and normal? Why could he just like girls it would all be so much easier. But no he had to be gay and disappoint a lot of people. Never ever again doing an interview with Nick.

"Harry? It's time to go." He turned around seeing Zayn standing his open door. He nodded and took his phone. He didn't know for the life of him where his wallet was.

"How are you?" Zayn asked looking at him curiously.

"Never better." He said letting his eyes go around his room. And found it. "Aha." he mumbled running over to the corner where his jeans lay seeing a little corner of his wallet stick out.

"Now really 'cause I've never seen you so tired in my life." Zayn answered,"You only look that tired when something’s bothering you. What is it?" He asked leaning on the door arms crossed.

"I don't want to talk about it." Harry said resolute.  Zayn's eyebrows rose

"Okay. Now let's go we need to get to an interview for some 13-year old magazine." He smiled and threw an arm around harry walking to the car outside.

Zayn talked to him the hole ride over and didn't stop. Just kept talking. " Perrie said she'd come and watch us when say and I really want to be good for her, make her proud you know." It was adorable but really Harry didn't to hear it but kept silent and nodded in recognition.

"Were here," The driver said pulling up at a big building.

"Thank god." Harry said and almost ran out of the van, Niall on his heels "Hurry I've got to pee!" Niall said jumping a bit to make the sensation go away.

"Just go on. We'll catch up." Liam said, that's all Niall needed and ran faster than Usain bolt toward the entrance.

"He really had to go." Zayn mumbled looking at the sprinting boy. Like always they're caretaker did al the talking. They could all narrate Paul's introduction of them.

"Hi I'm Paul and I'm here with one direction. Where do we have go?" Harry mouthed along with a Zayn and Louis.

Liam started laughing, "Stop imitating him he's just taking care of us." He said in a whisper laughing.

"Just go through that door and go to the second floor. There should be someone waiting there.” the receptionist said. They all started walking that way Niall was just coming out of the toilet when the elevator arrived.

"No you guys couldn’t--" the door closing cut him of.

"Oops." Liam and Louis starts laughing.

"We really corrupted you didn't we." and threw an arm around Liam laughing loudly. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had to reread the whole story because I wrote the first 4 chapters like a year ago or almost a year ago and I got the dates mixed up and the story didn't really fit. I already have things resembling plot holes but I fixed it. So adjusted the hole story. Not much but enough to get it right to go on with the story.   
> I hope you enjoy it! Byeeee leave a comment! but only if you want to!

They walked out when the ‘ding’ of the elevator sounded. Waiting for Niall who probably took the stairs. When Niall reached them they were instructed to go to room 3B. When they got their Paul opened the door letting them in and they introduce them self, shaking hand with two interviewers. The girl on the left had long brown curly hair, like Eleanor blue eyes and full red lips. The one on the right was a pixie girl, short blonde hair, big green blue eyes and freckles on her nose, Niall's type of girl. He looked over at Niall who had gulped and his cheeks looked a little pink. He really was the cute one. 

"Hi, my name is Lucy and this is Maya." He blonde girl said. 

"Please sit." They said together and stared laughing. A smile appeared on Harry's lips. They sat down one the once again to small couch. First was Liam than Zayn, Harry and Niall and at least Louis. 

"Thank you for being here," The pixie girl said "this is how its gonna go, we are going to ask you a few questions and videotape it."   
Everybody nodded "Okay let’s start." 

Maya turned to the camera. "Where here with one direction, as you can see they are all here." the camera turned to them and so the questions started. "So got really popular in a really short time, what did that do to you? Don't you miss the old days, like everything being normal?" 

There fell a short silence when then Louis started talking " Um, for me I can say that I miss my old life but I would never change anything about everything that happened." 

"Yeah Louis's right." Niall added, " I wouldn't change a thing." The rest nodded 

"Okay now that we know that is there something, there must be something you would do differently?" 

"Nope nothing for me." Zayn said pulling at a bit of skin on his lip. 

"Okay, so the new tour, are you excited?"   
Harry smiled always the same questions "Yes of course, I mean travelling the world is already excitement enough." 

"I like the travelling with my best friends and meeting the fans fantastic. Seeing everyone that spends so much time on us and money. It's just amazing." Liam said taking the Zayn his hand and stopping him from pulling.

Harry missed Louis and he was sitting 2 seats next to him. He looked over Niall and looked at Louis. He looked tired and there was worry on his face. Harry hoped everything was okay with him. They needed to talk, but Harry thought he wouldn’t be able to handle it. The rejection. Maybe he was still hurting for the break up. He had gone to Liam yesterday and had spend the time their, maybe he found another friend to rely on. Maybe he didn’t want Harry any more.

“Harry which boy would you date?” Maya asked him getting his attention back.

“Excuse me? I didn’t hear that.” 

“If you were a girl, a fan, which boy would you want to date?” she repeated her question.

“Um, I don’t really know…” He looked around “I think Zayn.” He said.

“And why Zayn?

“’Cause he just pretty isn’t he.” He said like it was obvious.

“Thanks mate.” Zayn said 

“You’re welcome.” He murmured back not daring to look at Louis. He couldn’t even imagine what his face looked like right now. Would he be angry? Disgusted? Troubled? Harry just didn’t know.

The interview dragged on and harry zoned out. He found he did it more now that the Louis thing happened. Even in his mind doesn’t want to call it by name anymore. It made the sadness sting harder. 

“Thank you so much for your time.” He heard the blond girl say and followed the rest, standing up shaking hands and walking out. 

“I’m so hungry!” Louis moaned in the elevator. 

“Me too.” Niall mumbled rubbing his belly.

“Let’s go to pizza hut or something.” Harry said quickly adding the or something because the fact still stands that he wants to make Louis happy and he knew Louis loved pizza.

“You guys go to practice and I’ll send someone for pizza’s I don’t feel like getting you guys out of a big sea of teenage girls.” Paul said resolutely

“Please Paul? Please? Pretty please? Pleaseee?” They all started whining, “Please, we’ll be good today. We’ll listen to Cody! We’ll be good boys!”

“Okay just stop whining!” He gave in. They all looked smirking at each other. Pizza in the pizza hut! 

Arriving there was easy, getting out wasn’t.

They could see a sea of girls standing outside the restaurant. Harry was getting scared. He didn’t like going thru so many girls. Niall didn’t look happy either; he had his nails clawed into Zayn’s leather jacket. Niall was scared. Liam was first then Zayn and Niall followed by Louis and ended with Harry.

“Time to go.” Paul said with a not so happy face.

They needed to do this fast because Paul was the only bodyguard with them. It was pushed them if you need to, don’t let them hurt you badly, and don’t stop moving. That was the golden rule if you stopped moving they’d just close in and you wouldn’t be able to do anything. 

Walking over to the door they left and the shouting started.

“Liam!! Over here!!”

“Harry!”

“Niall! Niall I love you!!”

“Zayn! Can I have a picture!” fans started pushing phones in their faces. 

“Louis I love you!” there were more people coming more and more. Harry saw them running towards them and wanted to grab on to Louis but he had gone. Shit. He had a fleeting thought that it probably looked a lot a zombie apocalypse, hands everywhere and so where the screams.

“Harry! I love you!” another phone in his face.

“Harry!” Another push, “Harry!” nails in his skin boring in to him. He hissed, more hands grabbing for him. He was falling behind and Paul was in the front he couldn’t do anything. He needed to get away. 

“HARRY!” The screams where getting louder. Someone took hold of his shirt. He looked down holding on to his trench coat. Harry breath quickened. He was really starting to panic but just at that a hand rapped around his arm.

“Come on.” He heard a familiar voice. Harry’s head snapped up. Louis pulled him towards him. He could hear his shirt tear but he didn’t care. Louis had helped him.

Harry held on to Louis until they made they way into the car sitting next to each other. Sitting down with the slamming of the door.

Harry has still been breathing fast when the car took off going like so many times on autopilot and putting on his seat beat, relaxing his facial muscles and slowly beginning to calm down.

“Thanks Lou.” He said quietly.

“You’re welcome Haz.” He said just as quiet.

The practice was boring like always, not boring but more daily happenings. He liked touring just not the preparations of touring. But he had promised to be good so for once he just listened to Cody. The funny thing was that Louis listened too and normally he would just be as childish as always. He was just standing there, silent and keeping to himself. Harry was a bit worried. After the rehearsal he asked Zayn to go and talk to Louis.

“Just ask him how he is, start a conversation.” He said to Zayn, but he looked suspicious.

“Why don’t you go talk to him?” 

Because it hurts.

“Because he’s a bit angry at me.” He said in a reflex, not the best safe but good enough. 

“Okay.” He sighed and walked over to Louis.

When Harry came home early that night paparazzi had followed him but he didn’t care. He dropped his keys on the table and set the heat on high, wanting it to be warm in the flat. He hoped Louis would be home soon. He couldn’t believe he had fallen so hard for his best friend. He started dinner, he made enough for both of them and waited until 9:30 before he ate his dinner and went to bed. Louis didn’t come home. Not even in the morning. Harry felt like crying but he didn’t let himself. He needed to talk to someone. He pulled on some random clothes and left.

“Zayn can we talk?” He said as the boy opened the door looking like death.

“Sure, why not.” 

“Thanks.” He said walking in Zayn flat.

“So what’s the problem, am I finally gonna hear what is bothering you?” He said closing the door. Harry just stopped in what was Zayns kitchen and started talking.

“So a few days ago Louis broke up with Eleanor and I wanted to comfort him so I played a lot of fun Disney songs, taking his mind of it for a bit, but them we both sort of started dancing to a slow song and both got trapped in our own minds, before we knew it we were kissing and I don’t know what to do about it because I really like him, and he hasn’t said a full sentence to me ever since! He only said you’re welcome after I thanked him for helping me today in the sea of fans!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New year everybody!   
> Once again I'm sorry if there a typos in it or real errors. Hope you liked it! Leave a comment with what you think about the story so far and what I could do to make it better. Next chapter will be up next friday. I hope...

Zayn was blinking at him. Just blinking. He didn’t look like he understood anything of what Harry had said, but Harry hoped furiously he didn’t have to repeat himself.

 

“So…” He said, “Eleanor and Louis broke up, and… you danced and than you kissed… And now he doesn’t talk to you anymore? Is that about it?”

 

Harry nodded he could feel the panic rise. It looked like his walls were crumbling. He felt bad for having them, but he needed them to go thru with the band. He couldn’t come out and he didn’t want to either.

 

“And you like him.” Mumbling a ‘that took long enough’ under his breath and went unheard by Harry.

 

“Yes.” Harry whispered after a long silence. “I like him so much, I might-“he cut himself of not wanting to say love “It just hurts being ignored and not even looked at, he doesn’t even bloody talk to me!” his vision started to get blurry indicating tears were on their way. “I just want things to go back to the way they were before the kiss or even the break up because then he would at least talk to me.”

 

“Harry, I think you need to talk to him.” Zayn said with a knowing voice. “Even if  he doesn’t want to. I think you need to know where you stand.”

 

“What do I do? Bind him to a chair?”

 

“No ask him to talk.” But Harry felt like breaking down and going to bed and sleep and never wake up again. And so the crying began. His tears started to fall and his face let the pain show.

 

In a half a minute he was crying, and not the nice crying, the ugly sobbing, snottering kind of crying. Zayn stood up and wanted to take the boy in his arms. But didn’t thing Harry would like it. But then Harry turned to him and he buried his face into Zayn’s chest.

 

“I just don’t want it, I don’t want this to happen. Why can’t I be normal…? ” He said whilst crying on Zayn’s shirt.

 

‘Sssst, it okay let it al out.” He said letting the boy cry on his shoulder but no one knew there was a person watching from behind the wall that lead to the bedrooms. A boy for Doncaster just saw what he did by ignoring his friend and didn’t dear come near to apologize.

 

“I’m so sorry Zayn I needed to talk to someone, or needed to vent.” He said as Zayn lead him to the kitchen. “ I even made him dinner last night, He didn’t even sent a text to me saying he wouldn’t be back. But he helped me in the mob and I thought ‘Maybe he’ll come back home and maybe we can start to act normal again.’ Because I don’t want to go on this tour like this.”

 

Zayn knew Louis would hear them sooner or later, he had asked to stay the night yesterday. Zayn didn’t think anything about it so just let him.

 

“Do you know where he is?” Zayn asked him

 

“No, I’ve got no idea.” Harry said with red eyes. He had to blow his nose a few times before he started to sound normal again. “Maybe with one of the lads.”

 

Zayn just nodded “So what will you do now?”

 

“I’ll talk to him before the tour starts. Which means today or tomorrow.” He said sniffing and looking up to where he saw someone walk into the room.

 

“Perrie! Hi, how are you?” He said and smiled. She looked gorgeous although she just woke up.

 

“I’m great, I would ask you the same but something tells me you’re not so good.” She said as he walked over to, and Zayn kissed his cheek and took place at the table.

 

Harry snorted “I’m okay.” He said and took a deep breath. “I’ll be going back now, need to clean my room again.” And stood up and left walking over to the door.

 

Zayn followed him “Harry!” he called after him “I’ll send him over to your place, if I see him, okay?” Harry just nodded and left.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Harry got home in five minutes being it was the same complex. But he still felt like shit. So the first thing he did was making instant noodles and eating them in the living room. He burned his tongue in the process but he didn’t really care, instant noodles are good. He watched some TV and tried not to think about talking to Louis. What would he say?

 

_I’m sorry Louis that you kissed me or I kissed you. But I really liked it and I would want to do it again._

 

Or maybe like this

 

_Louis we really need to talk. I need to talk to you about our… um kiss. Why did you do that? I want to know because I have liked you for almost two years, and I want things to go back to normal. I just want to be friends again. I really like our friendship._

 

Like hell no, how the hell would that help? It wouldn’t help. Harry needs to dig a whole, crawl in, and burry himself alive. Never coming out. But at that moment someone knocked at the door and walked in.

 

“Harry, I think we need to talk.”

 

Harry almost chocked in his own spit. Louis just showed up and talked to him. He just didn’t expect it. Louis is known for being very stubborn and doesn’t do anything unless he wants to. So harry was more than surprised that he showed up and initiated the big talk.

 

“I think so too.” Harry managed to get out as Louis walked up to him. “I’ll make you a cuppa and then we’ll talk.” Harry rushed out. He wasn’t ready for this. Not now and not tomorrow, maybe in 6 months.

 

As he placed the kettle in the fire he started looking for tea bags, Yorkshire tea, Louis favourite. He took another teabag for him, ginger tea, and so Louis won’t whine. While waiting for the water to boil harry once again went over what he wanted to say, but his mind went silent. He just didn’t know what he would say. He took the warm water of and started to pour it into cups.  

 

Louis had tidied up a bit cleaning the sofa and putting away the boil harry had used for his noodles. They almost bumped into each other.

 

“Time to get started.” Harry said sounding like he was talking about a meeting or something. Louis nodded and hopped to put the bole away.

 

Harry just sat down when he got back. He took his tea and sat down to waiting for Harry to talk but then he realized I should be talking I was the one that kissed him.

 

“So, Harry I think I need to apologize about kissing you and ignoring you.” Louis started and then Harry knew Louis would never be his and so a tear fell from his eyes. He hoped Louis didn’t notice.

 

“I was, I am still hurting from the break up with El-“ But Harry stopped him not wanting to hear him telling him how much he loved Eleanor and how sorry he is for kissing him.

 

“Louis I don’t need to hear this, I want to tell you something. So please listen.” He set down his cup of tea and looked Louis in the eyes. “To hear you apologize for kissing me… hurts. It really hurts…because for me it was the best moment of my life. I knew it wasn’t for you but hearing it is so much worse than thinking it.” Harry had to stop because he was starting to feel the lump in his throat. He took a deep breath not letting Louis talk “I have been in love with you since you said you’d marry me on x-factor, and I know it was jokingly said, but it made me realize how hard I had fallen for you.”

 

 Louis hadn’t said anything; he didn’t look like he heard anything of Harry’s speech. He looked like he was frozen in time. Harry couldn’t handle it.

 

“Louis please say something.”

 

But he didn’t, he looked disconnected. The lights were on but no ones home. Harry was about to cry again when Louis opened his mouth.

 

“Can I kiss you again?”

 

Harry nodded but didn’t move. He would let Louis do anything he wanted even if he knew what would happen. Louis moved over closer to Harry. Harry closed his eyes and waited, heart beating so fast. His mouth opened a bit when he felt Louis hand on his cheek and he could hold back anymore. His hand flew to where he though Louis face was and pulled him closer and their lips crashed together. It was like gasoline and fire. The need to be closer to Louis was like fire surging its way threw Harry’s body. Louis second hand went around Harry’s waist pulling his body into his and pulling him down with him. Lips making way for curious tongues, Harry laying on top of Louis trying to hold his weight up by putting his arms next to Louis face. He explored Louis mouth eyes still closed. But harry knew this wasn’t going to last much longer, so he started to let the kiss get less intense and let go of Louis, opening his eyes. Louis opened his eyes to and blinked twice.

 

“Harry… this won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”  

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I don’t feel the same like you do.”

 

With those words Harry broke. His friendship with Louis disappeared. It was just as non existent like on the screen. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it looks like I have been extremely lucky in finishing this in two days. I thought I would take weeks before I posted another but I started early and finish this evening. I love getting comments that must have been the reason. Haha no I'm serious I love comments they make me do more. There should be a like button for comments. Hope you like it and as long as one person reads this and I know I'll keep writing. This is mostly a filler :/ sorry

The day after their second kiss Louis got back with Eleanor. He thought Louis wanted to show him how straight he was, but it felt more like he was rubbing salt into Harry wound. Harry just didn’t want to show Louis how he felt anymore even if it hurt he was fine. Zayn was a bit more angry so he spent the most of his time with Perrie. He had noticed the weird tension and asked Harry what happened but he didn’t say anything because El and Louis just walked in.

“That happened.” He said motioning over to the Starbucks queen walking in. 

Zayn didn’t let his face change but he couldn’t understand Louis his stubbornness. So he just turned around and walked over to the table with the water bottles.

Harry just didn’t want to see it so looked away sat down and waited for Niall to arrive so they could start the rehearsal. The hardest thing to do is ignore someone that you have looked at, went out of your way to look at, for 2, nearly 3 years. So when he looked over he saw them giggling and giving each other little kisses and he wanted to kick himself. Why does he keep doing this to himself? He looked back at his feet fiddling with the micro when Niall walked in. 

“Good morning every one.” He said to no on in particular.

“Morning.” Liam answered and went back to talking to Zayn. 

Cody immediately made them start the show. He made them sing all the songs and pretend its real. 

“Louis stop looking at your girlfriend and start focussing on your job!” Cody screamed when Louis missed his queue to start singing for the 7th time.

Louis just rolled his eyes and muttered, “We already know all the songs and the timings.”

Cody just ignored him giving the sign to the band to start the music again. They practised with the band most of the time but other times it was with a karaoke cd.

They finished the entire show and it went smoothly. “Boys, all I can say good work and let’s hope it goes even better tomorrow. Well done.” He said and they were free to go.

Harry ran of as fast as he could and didn’t go home. He didn’t feel like seeing Elounor in action. 

He took some pictures with the fans and walked in the snow, blocked every memory of yesterday. He hated himself for letting Louis kiss him. He hates that he still wanted to hold Louis and kiss him and make sure he’s happy. He wanted to be with him in every way possible. Louis was so kind to him and everything he did made Harry laugh, and why is he thinking about Louis again?

Louis and Eleanor were making out passionately, hands on each others bodies, Eleanor pushing her body into his, and he was bored to death. Why did she bore him? She never did before there was just something missing. Her hands seemed to small, her sent to sweet, her hair to long. His mind went back to yesterday, kissing Harry wasn’t as boring as he wanted it to be, but there is no way he’s kissing Harry again, not tomorrow, not next week, never. He simply refused to fall for the boy. He knew the fact that showing up with El must have hurt but he just couldn’t do it.

Eleanor was pulling at his shirt, trying to get it off, rolling down her hips on his semi, and that wasn’t because of her, it was because he thought of kissing Harry again. 

“Get your shirt off.” She said against his ear, biting on the skin under it.

He smiled “Not here, Harry will come home any minute.” He told her.

“Let’s go to your room then…” she said and started kissing him again while trying to pull him of the couch. But then Harry opened the door and walked in, and he froze. So did Eleanor and Louis. They stood there staring at each other for 10 seconds before Harry walked away slamming the door behind him.

“O my god, that was so embarrassing.” She said looking back at Louis; his lips were a little swollen from kissing. Harry saw him like this and he told Louis yesterday he had feelings for him. Why did everything turn to shit? Maybe he deserved this. He could hear harry putting on some loud music in his room, apparently he felt like listening to Passion Pit. Louis knew it was to drown out everything else.

“It was quit embarrassing.” He agreed and let her go.

Harry had put on the music as loud as it could go. No more fucking Eleanor. No more fucking pretty Louis. No more. This tour is going to be torture. Harry stayed in his room until he was sure he could walk into someone in the house and then left his safe bedroom for the kitchen. He went for cereal so he could hurry back to his bedroom. But the moment he was in his bedroom he begged for a distraction from the thoughts forcing them into his head.

Louis didn’t want him and he needed to live with that. 

They didn’t look at each other the other day except for their first concert. Harry was happy to be in front of a crowd again. The thrill he got from performing was something he couldn’t explain. Some songs were easier to sing than others but he just needed to get over it.

The funny signs are the best ever.  


Get a proper job you dick!

The Larry ones not. Well they were, but now they’re just painful. 

The evening of the 23rd was the last one home. Having the shows in London gave them the opportunity to go home but Harry couldn’t wait for actually going on the bus. He just loved being so close to the others. But for now it’s still being home with Louis that didn’t even come home. 

At 6 am Harry’s alarm went of. Tour time having everything packed and ready by 8 and deciding on texting Louis to come and get his suitcase. 

It turned out he already made his yesterday when he was sleeping. They left the 26th but they found out it was the safest to packed the day before they left.

Arriving at the arena was like arriving to a place you haven’t been for a while, but every memory you have of it are one of the best. The sound check had to go a little faster than usual because of how late they all arrived. 

“Harry, please put on your shirt and trousers so we don’t have to start the show late.” Paul told him so Harry did and stood up walked around the room to find he performing clothes. 

Louis was looking at Harry and following his long body around the room. He himself had all his clothes on and was fine a few minutes ago, but the room seemed to hot. His curly hair having a mind of his own and falling back every time Harry pushed it out of his face. Harry was pulling on his trousers when a pair of arms hugged Louis from behind.

“Good luck today.” Eleanor said to him and letting him go a taking place in the chair next to him. 

“Thanks El.” he said eyes not leaving Harry as he pulled his shirt over his head, body stretching and then covering all his beautiful skin. Making Louis blink and tore his away. Facing Eleanor seeing she was on her phone. 

“5 minutes 'till the show, boys time to move.” 

Eleanor gave Louis a quick kiss and pushed him towards the door 

“You’re the best.” She whispered and left to letting nerves take over. 

They did their concert rituals and waited for the screens come up listening to the screams, and this was just the first concert of the day. 

Starting with Up all night, was a good choice, it’s an energetic begin. He already loved singing ‘Little things’ and he loved the way they all sang along with Niall. They were the best fans in the world.

At the end they did their Niall started his little thank you speech.

“This was amazing, thank you all so much for spending you hard worked for money on the tickets.” He smiled and continued “Thank all of you for being here, and waiting so long to see us because if I’m right, the tickets went on sale about a year ago, so that means you guys have a lot of patience.” 

For some unexplainable reason Louis was standing next to Harry and moved his hand slowly to Harry’s brushing it softly moving to put his around Harry to make there bow.

“Thanks to all of you, you are the best!” Niall shouted and they bowed. Louis hand burning it’s way onto Harry’ back. Making him shiver whenever he thought about it.

Getting home again he didn’t even want to do anything but sleep. Why did have to stand next Louis at that moment? He knew it was not intentionally but he rather not touch Louis again it just hurt. What the hell is he talking about of course he wanted to touch Louis, he just wanted Louis to touch him with the same reasons he wanted to. He turned around in his bed laying on he back looking up at the celling. Harry could still feel his hand on his back. He could still feel the tingle on his skin. He just wanted to fall asleep with Louis and kiss him when he’s being cute or adorable. He just wanted Louis so much it hurt. He fell asleep with that thought.

Louis came home at little past 2 in the morning, carrying a McDonalds bag. He went for a late night snack with Niall and ended up at McDonalds. He had talked about Eleanor being so clingy to him before he even knew what he was saying. He even talked about not knowing why he got back with her when Niall told him to break it of again.

“I can’t that will break her heart.” He said. 

“Then you are just keeping her like a charity case.”

“I know.” He mumbled taking another bite for his burger.

So when he got home he went to Harry’s room and opened the door just a little looking inside, but he didn’t see a it, everything was dark.

He walked in holding his phone out to light his way, but then he realised where he was and what he was doing and left. Stubbing his toe on Harry’s bed and hopped out of the room, closing the door. Waking Harry not knowing what happened. He woke because of the sound. But there was nothing there. So he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to try and update every monday and friday.  
> In this chatper I tried and probably failed at sound british but I hope you like it. Bye!

The moment they could say the tour really began was when they finished in Cardiff and went to Ireland. It started 5 until 6 March was in Dublin, 7 until 11 March was Belfast and 12 until 13 was Dublin again.

 

Niall was proper buzzing. Being happy and shouting “Ireland!” wherever he went.

 

Their first performance went great just like the others. Belfast was awesome too, but the fans had made Niall so proud, the show on the 12th when they sang along with his solo in Little things. Nialls friends came too, and they had made a banner that said “SPIT ON ME NIALL” and the boy laughed so hard he had to run of the stage to go pee. After, he and his friend went out, making sure Niall woke with a head ach.

 

“It’s your own fault, you shouldn’t go out before shows.” Lou said, getting Nialls hair to stand up right.

 

Niall pulled a face “You’re not the one getting their hair pulled out of their skull.“ She pulled a little harder Louis enjoying this way too much, Niall muttering an “awtch”.

 

Harry hadn’t caught anything of what had been going on. He was busy drawing in his little notebook. He started it because he got bored fast on the bus and drawing kept him busy. But he enjoyed and kept the habit. Whenever he’s busy drawing, writing, he doesn’t hear anyone so that’s why he didn’t hear them call him until Louis said his name his head snapping up. They were all staring at him.

 

“What?” he said.

 

“Did you really not hear us or are you just ignoring us?” Niall asked.

 

“No. I didn’t hear you.”

 

“We were like yelling at you.” Niall snickered “Even Lou yelled. She wants to do your hair by the way.” Niall said standing up making place for Harry. He sighed and closed his book walking over to Lou.

 

“This won’t take long.” She said when she started messing with his hair. Harry closed his eyes; he liked it when people messed with his hair. The best place was right where his hair started in his neck. If someone pulled softly he’d probably start purring.

 

He opened his eyes when her hands left his head and looked in the mirror that reflected Louis looking at him, staring straight into his eyes. Harry wondered why Louis was looking at him like that. But harry just smiled and Louis smiled back, making butterflies, fucking butterflies, start a war in his belly.

 

Louis looked away and so did Harry. He was probably blushing and when he looked up again, in the mirror, he could see the light red colour on his cheeks. Shit, why is it so hard not to react to Louis. He probably was just being nice and smiled back, everyone would have done that.

 

“Harry why are you all red?” Lou asked when she returned with the hairspray she needed.

 

Harry became a little redder “It’s hot in here.” He mumbled looking down trying to hide his face.

 

“It’s not that warm Harry, but sit up straight so I can do your hair, please.” She said Harry sighed and did what he was told.

 

The end of the Ireland tour they all jumped on Niall on one pile. Zayn gave Niall a little peck on his cheek making the crowd scream even louder.

 

“Thank you all for coming but we need to go!”

 

“Bye!” they all yelled at the same time and the show was over they all left for the airport going home again.

 

After a break of 3 days they performed in Manchester and took the bus, finally on the bus, to Liverpool than going to Sheffield and stopped in Nottingham they had a radio interview, did a show, and slept on the bus. Harry had fallen asleep on the couch, watching a movie with the rest. He and Louis started talking again. Not much but sometimes. Being polite and asking how the other was. This happened yesterday in the bus.

 

Harry was looking outside at the sky when Louis stopped next to him wanting to see what the younger boy was looking at.

 

“Looks like it’s going to snow.” Louis said.

 

Harry looked to him. “Yeah it does, doesn’t it?”

 

“Going to have to wear more jumpers Harry.” He motioned at Harry’s t-shirt.

 

“I will.” He said and Louis walked away again, back to his bunk.

 

Talking about the weather. Not great but it’s better than nothing. Zayn was still angry but just ignored Louis. Harry didn’t know of Zayn not wanting to talk to Louis.

 

Niall had talked to Zayn and asked what had been going on with Harry and Louis. Zayn just said, “Louis is being an arse, that’s all you need to know.”

 

They arrived in Birmingham with snow everywhere. It might have been March the 19th but the snow wasn’t about to be stop. They stayed in a hotel for a night because the next day there was another show to be played.  They had another interview the 20th an early interview, which meant getting around 6.

 

“No, I love my bed it’s lonely when I’m not here.” He mumbled into the pillow when Paul came to wake them.

 

“Just be ready in 30 minutes.” He said pulling of Harry’s blanket and throwing it on the floor and left for Zayn’s room.

 

He eventually got up and had a quick shower and got dressed, going down for breakfast. Liam was the first and Harry the second being down. The restaurant wasn’t yet open for the public, but being in One Direction got a lot of perks.

 

“Good morning, sleep well?” Liam asked him adding sugar to his tea.

 

“Yeah, you?”

 

“I slept okay, I had a talk with someone from home, her name is Sophia and we used to hang with the same people. It’s kind of nice to talk to friends.”

 

“So were not good enough anymore?” Harry teased.

 

“Who’s not good enough?” Niall asked sitting down next them starting on his eggs.

 

“We are, Liam wanted to talk to his old friends instead of us.” Harry said before Liam could.

 

“Ooh that’s not nice Liam.” Niall said with a smile looking at the misunderstood Liam.

 

“Oh you know that’s it not like that…” He started but Harry cut him of.

 

“Li, we’re just teasing.”

 

He didn’t reply and just finished his breakfast. Louis arrived next and about 5 minutes later Zayn.

 

“Good morning.” Louis said sitting down next Harry on the right side Liam being on his left.

 

They mumbled a “good morning.” back Harry tensing a bit with the closeness but quickly falling into old habit of eating with his band mates.

 

Zayn didn’t say anything and they didn’t expect him to either.  He really wasn’t a morning person.

 

Liam stood up having finished with his breakfast “You need to be done eating in about 7 minutes so we can leave in time.

 

There were thousands of screaming girls at the shopping centre and Harry must have missed the memo that said it was a little signing. Stupid boy he was.

 

“Shit.” He said out loud. “I forgot that this was a signing.”

 

Niall just laughed and gave him friendly shoulder clap and they took place at the table and started signing for a few hours.

 

There was one girl that had given him a ring and didn’t ask him to marry her and she said. “Hope you like you present! Thank you I love you!” out of habit he slipped the ring on and went on with his signing.

 

Another girl had fainted at seeing Zayn smile. She just fell and the boy didn’t know what to do. Security got her out of the way and gave her to the first aid people that were there. Everywhere they went there were ambulances with people waiting for an accident to happen. One direction was lethal. Harry had a giggle about that in his mind.

 

Louis got a lot of high fives, Niall had been asked by nearly every girl to hug her, and Harry got the crying girls. More than normal. It was very strange; in different towns they all got different type of fangirls. Harry still didn’t understand why they cry so much.

 

Harry winked at a boy that had been waiting for his autograph but regretted it immediately when he almost started crying. “I love you.”  he said and followed his other fans doomed to only spend 3 seconds with their idol.

 

After a 2 hour session they stopped and apologized for not being able to do the rest but they would come back in a few hours.

 

They ate lunch and then it was time for an interview.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another chapter because I'm nice and don't have a life. Leave a comment! Enjoy! Bye!

In the interview Harry ended up in the back, on a table and the other on a comfy chair in a normal range of the mic. He was quit lonely there. Zayn was sitting a little to his right, Louis in front of him Liam next to Louis and then Niall.

The interviewer sat down in front of them introduced himself quickly and started the interview. “So introduce yourself boys.”

“I’m Niall.”

“I’m Liam.”

“I’m Louis.” 

“I’m Harry.”

“And I’m Zayn.”

“Great, great, so do you know there a like 5 thousand girls down there, screaming so loud that they’ll lose their voice. Isn’t it weird? Did you ever think this would happen?”

“To be honest, it is weird, but nice in a way. I didn’t think things like this would ever happen to us.” Liam said.

“Yeah at first it was a bit surreal, having people scream at you.” Zayn added.

“But yeah you don’t get used to it but you know it’s coming.” Louis said.

“Now it all happened on the x factor, you guys entered as individuals, but then Simon put you together. How was that, tell me about that.”

“Yes we entered as solo artists and then we got threw to the final 200 like the final 24 of our category, the boys category, but then Simon and Nicole and Louis Walsh said “You’d be better in a group together,” so it was a really exciting time for us.”

“Is he really so, like, a rough guy?”

“No he’s really nice to use, he might be perceived as an arse, but no, he’s a great mentor and he is there when we needed him. He’s a really nice guy.”

“The thing is he is just honest, he’s just honest, he voices his opinion.”

Harry had been listening but he could like say a lot being in the back. But Simon was a real nice guy. He’s so sweet when you see him with his dogs. It’s just another person.

Harry sighed and lend forward a bit leaning on the back rest of Louis chair tapping his finger in a fast and repeating motion, like playing the piano and listening to Liam his answer. 

Louis like always wasn’t able to sit still. He was making his fingers crack, and pop getting rid of some tension. Looking at the people of camera and just as Louis saw there was no on watching. He let his arm touch Harry’s hand, like a caress, sending shivers down Harry’s spine. Louis was holding his hand in front of his mouth not wanting to start smiling. His heart started beating faster as he moved his finger over Louis arm, and then it was over. But Harry didn’t want it to be over and before he knew it, he had moved his hand just enough to touch Louis again, and he also moved back. Getting a high like feeling, this was a lot because Louis didn’t want him. The feeling rushed through his body again but this time being shattered by angst because of the interviewer that had turned to him and he pulled away from Louis like he had been burned.

“I’m hearing… people are throwing out the name, Beatles. The Beatles. It’s the Beatles.” Louis started laughing, getting the tension out. “What would you guys compare yourselves with?”

Louis and Harry both started talking at the same time making both of them stop but Louis said, “Go.” And Harry answered the question.

After the interview they finished their signing and went back to the hotel, Niall falling asleep on Harry’s shoulder in the car. They were al beginning to feel the tiredness creep up on them. Paul made the driver stop at McDonalds and bought them food “For being good boys and getting up on time.” 

They arrived around 11pm and they all went straight to bed. But there were two boys that couldn’t find sleep. One of them was Louis Tomlinson and the other was Harry Styles. 

Harry couldn’t stop thinking about Louis. How warm his skin had felt, how soft it was and how he just wanted to place his whole hand on Louis skin. He wanted to place his hands on Louis back and pull him into a hug. Just a hug, just for once, to feel Louis’s heart beat through his shirt, to hear him breath in his ears.

Why did he keep imagining the impossible? He turned around in his bed, looking at the same wallpaper on the other wall. He needed to get Louis out of his head. How many times does he need to be hurt by him to get it though his thick skull? But when he closed his eyes he could almost feel Louis put his arm around his waist, his mind taking over, Louis pulled him a little closer he could almost feel his breath on his skin.

There was a knock at the door and then it opened shattering the fantasy playing in his head. Harry looked up it was Niall. 

“Hi,” He whispered. 

“Hi,” Harry whispered back.

“Can I sleep with you, Paul is snoring so loud.”

Paul did snore loud sometimes. They had slept together a lot, running from monstrous snoring. 

Harry nodded “Yeah sure.” And moved a bit making room for Niall, the boy shuffled toward the bed and getting in. 

“Thanks.” Niall whispered and got comfortable.

Niall fell asleep quite soon, it only took 10 minutes, and Harry took 30 minutes.

Louis on the other hand was still awake. He was staring at the celling, thinking about the feeling that Harry gave him by just brushing his skin. He was going mad. He had tried to cut Harry out his life the best he could, being in the same band, but that had proven to be really difficult. He could stay away, he thought Eleanor could do the trick but she just managed to annoy him more than before. She just didn’t do it for him anymore.

He eventually decided to go see if Harry was still away. He got the key card, they all had keys for each room so they could visit each other. He made his way to Harry’s room and knocked unlocked the door and walked inside. His heath beating like drum, seeing his bed he was surprised to see two sleeping in it and he got angry so angry. Harry wasn’t allowed to sleep with other people. 

But he was hurt too; Harry had told him he wanted him. No one else, Louis wanted to scream. Frustration getting to him he went out of Harry’s room and almost slamming the door, but didn’t do it sleep is a hard thing to come by when you’re touring even if he was so mad, he cared about his band members.

He went for a run. He wanted to go for a run but when he looked outside there were still fans standing outside so he decided to run up and down the stairs. It was physical enough. He ran of every feeling of anger and frustration. His anger at Harry for being so fucking attractive, his anger for not falling in love with a girl, he hated himself and wouldn’t, he just wouldn’t. 

He went to bed around 3:15 am and fell asleep immediately.

Being woken up at 8 wasn’t exactly a fantastic but it wasn’t 5 or 6 in the morning. Niall had his wrapped around Harry’s and when he was awake enough to realize it he pulled it away and apologized. 

“Is nothing, mate. “ Harry said into his pillow not wanting to wake up again. 

“Harry wake up now you need to be on time for the sound check and you guys need to eat first.” 

Harry groaned.

“Niall get him ready.” Paul said to the blond boy and he left.

“Come on.” Niall said and took Harry’s hand pulling him of the bed. Harry let it happen and went with it stood up but he didn’t feel like showering so he didn’t. He got dressed and waited for Niall that used his clothes, not wanting to go to his room to get his.

“I’ll give them back when I’ve washed them.” He said and they both made their way down. 

The restaurant had been opened but there weren’t a lot of people, there was an elderly couple having breakfast next to the window. One young family and what looked like “Fans.” He said to Niall. 

“Means pictures when were eating again, but Paul will probably ask to leave or not to take pictures.” Niall answered walking over to Liam that sat in the back and was already eating. 

“Good morning.” Liam said.

“Morning.” They said in unison and started laughing. This sort of this happens more and more often.

The show went okay. They had some fun on stage. Harry almost misted his part in the song watching Louis. But it went okay. 

Being in back in the hotel harry went to the gym with Liam and had asked the fans not to take pictures of him all sweaty and gross. While running on the treadmill he thought about Louis. He had been a bit cold and distant today. Maybe it was the hand touch that happened yesterday. And Louis being cold and distant scared him; he got so mean whenever that happens. Louis looked happy yesterday but appearances are deceptive. 

That moment he got a mention on twitter.

Louis Tomlinson  
@Louis_Tomlinson

@skyleridk Hows this , Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I’m happy why can’t you accept that.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I really want to make the chapters longer but I just can't seem to do it. I'll try next time. Enjoy! I don't know how I feel about this chapter.

Harry got so angry and hurt at that comment that he started crying right was he was, on the treadmill, jumping to the sides and tears rolling drown his face.

Why would Louis say that and even on twitter, Louis might have a big mouth but he would never hurt Harry intentionally.

The same time Louis was in his room and had just a weak moment and hated the fact he did but he wanted Harry or even falling for the boy. God damn it. Harry didn’t deserve this happen to him; he was such a sweet kid. Why did I do it, I can’t take it back now. If I do take it back it meant telling the world a lot more than he knew about it himself. God I made this mess.

I’m sorry Harry.

Harry tried to stop crying for the fans sake. But they saw, and they asked what was wrong, but he just smiled and walked on.

Speculation started that second that Harry past the fans. Why Harry was crying, and had this to do with the anti Larry tweet from Louis. 

Harry wanted to confront Louis but was too scared, so when he got to their floor and went to Zayn’s room. He wasn’t surprised but was that Louis really tweeted that.

“It’s okay, Harry, Louis didn’t mean it, he’s just being a stubborn arse.” Zayn said making harry chuckle.

“Yeah he is, why would he say something like that? I know that he gets mad to but reading that after the interview, I didn’t think he would be so cruel.” Harry said with a few cracks in his voice whenever he cried they would come up like he was chain smoker.

“I don’t know, let me go talk to him.” Zayn said and before Harry released what he had said the boy left the room and was storming down he hall anger boiling. When Zayn gets angry he’s angry. Proper angry and could do some serious damage if he trained more. 

He didn’t knock on Louis door he almost slammed his hand threw it wood banging it. “Louis fucking Tomlinson open this fucking door!” He screamed and the boy opened bewildered.

“What?” he asked “Did something happen?”

Zayn laughed without humour “Did something happen?” He repeated to Louis and walking into the room. “Of course something happened, why the hell would you post a reply like that? Harry saw it, and came to my room to cry his eyes out. Do you even know what that did to him he is probably still there crying and hiccupping because a stupid arse that can’t handle his own feelings said some stupid things. You should see the boy. Seeing Harry cry like this is worse than Niall. Why the hell would you do something like that?”

Louis looked lost for words but came back with a stronger attack that Zayn had thought.

“I know but I’m not gay and I told him that. He just keeps running after me like a little puppy. Not like I can do anything about it.” 

Zayn did push him then. Right across his face a nice burse under his eye. Sending Louis to the floor. Zayn hissed at the sting in his hand but he felt better.

“What the fuck Zayn!” Louis yelled and kicked the feet from under Zayn’s feet away. He fell to the floor, hitting Louis suitcase. They looked at each other and the fight started, shouts and groans coming from the room. 

Harry had followed Zayn when his eyes had semi dried but when he hear the loud noises he stood up and ran to the room. Paul had made his way over too, he was already opening the door when two body flew threw the opening, hitting the wall hard and falling down. Looking like they were pushing the shit out of each other. Louis laying on the fool and Zayn on top of him rolling over and over throwing in pushes at everywhere they could.

“Shit.” He heard Paul say and looked at Harry. “You take Louis, I’ll take Zayn.”

Harry wanted to refuse but he didn’t want them to look bad for the shows they still had to do. So did what he was told. 

The moment Paul pulled Zayn of Louis; Louis got up to run towards Zayn and to punch him again. Harry lunged himself at the boy and locked his arms around his body picking him up and holding him in place.

“Look at the boys eyes! You stupid piece of shit!” Zayn shouted at Louis when Paul started to drag him away.

“I’m okay I won’t hit him again.” He said to Paul and he let him go. He went to his room.

Harry had dragged Louis into his room and sat him down on the bed, “Sorry for manhandling you.” He said and looked up into Louis eyes. He had been staring at him for the last few minutes. He looked angry and his right eye is starting to turn blue. 

“Let me get some ice for you eye.” Harry said and walked over to the mini fridge and looked for something frozen. He came back with ice chocolates.

“This is all I could find.” He said and wrapped it in a towel crouching and held it up to Louis eyes, applying gentile pressure. Louis looked a lot calmer at the moment. He looked tired.

“What happened with Zayn?” he asked Louis his one eye looking at the boys face. He could probably see that Harry’s eyes were puffy and red from crying but didn’t say anything about it.

“I got angry said some things that I knew would anger him.” He mumbled and let his eye fall back down. Louis looked torn to be honest. He didn’t look well at all. He had for what Harry could see, dark circles on his eyes and his nails were chewed of and he only did that when he got stressed. 

“He told me some thing that hurt and were true and I told him thing that would mean I got my ass kicked.”

Harry sighed and looked down seeing Louis hands with a few little moon shaped marks that were bleeding. Nail marks, Zayn got him good.

“I’ll go and get something to clean these.” he said and ran to his room getting the Band-Aids and a little ointment that prevents infections. 

When he got back Louis was still sitting on the bed staring into the space before him. He sat down and got to work fast, cleaning the wounds with a little bit of water and toilet paper.

“I’m sorry about the tweet.” He eventually added breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

But that got harry thinking again and how Louis was just disgusted by it, by how he felt. 

“No need to feel sorry, Lou, I mean you can say what you want.” He said voice trembling a bit and his eyes tearing up. Keeping the down so Louis wouldn’t see.

“No, I do need to be sorry, I knew it would hurt you and still did it.” He said putting the towel with the ice chocolate on the bed he was sitting on. He had been looking at Harry’s curls the entire time, and wanted to touch them, he wanted to let his hands ruffle threw his hair. And before he knew it, his hand was in going threw Harry’s hair the boy closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. He likes it when people messed with his hair. 

Harry’s eyes closed and one little tear left his eye. Louis noticed. 

“Hazza? Are you crying?”

Harry couldn’t help it, Louis was being so nice and caring and all Harry thought was that it was all a lie and that Louis though he was disgusting and he didn’t want Harry and how dirty he was and how much he hated Harry.

Harry just broke down and let Louis hands go. “I’m sorry Louis, I’m sorry I ruined everything. I’m sorry I have the biggest crush on you.” Harry sniffed “I’m just really sorry.”

Louis couldn’t handle it anymore. He didn’t want Harry to start crying. He didn’t want Harry to be unhappy, the only thing he wanted was to be free of the feelings he has for the beautiful boy in front of him crying his eyes out. Louis snapped and didn't care anymore Harry was his and will always be.

His hand let go of Harry’s head and let it go to his chin, pulling his face up and kissed the boy with all he had. All the feelings he had for the boy pouring in that kiss. All the love he had for the boy all the want all the tears he had cried about not wanting to be gay. Everything he was went into that kiss.

Harry froze and stopped crying immediately. He was shocked and his thoughts had disappeared he didn’t know what to do. Louis didn’t want this.

But he’s kissing me! 

The moment Louis hands moved over his hair again and pulled a little and he just melted into the kiss the warm feeling washing over him drowning him in its sensation. Louis lips were so warm and soft and so… Louis. 

Louis pulled away needing to breath and he wanted to tell the boy how much he loved him but not now, not yet.

“Stay here tonight?” Louis asked him instead hoping fiercely he’d say yes.

Harry nodded with a little smile on his face. “I’d love to.”

They didn’t do anything else apart from kissing and cuddling the entire night. Louis wanting to be the big spoon so Harry let him. He kissed Harry’s neck every few minutes until Harry turned around and they shared sweet little kisses until they fell asleep in each other’s arms both close to the person they loved.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep wondering if I mess up they way I make sentences. Thank you for all the nice comments I love them. Enjoy this new chapter. Bye!

Louis woke up and hadn’t slept this good in ages. Paul didn’t even need to wake him up, he woke up all on his own. The reason for that was sleeping peacefully next to him. Louis had opened his eyes and saw Harry sleeping a few cm from him their noses almost touched. He felt surprisingly calm and content at the sighed of the boy sleeping next to him. There was something nagging at the back of him mind when the door opened and Paul walked in surprise written all over his face.

“You’re awake? Good please get ready quickly we need to get to the venue.” He said and left again. “Don’t fight again your eye looks like shit.”

Louis frowned and touched his eye flinching a bit. The noise of Paul talking had woken the boy that blinked awake. Looking directly at Louis and smiled.

“Good morning,” and looked at Louis bruised eye “Your eye is really black or blue or bruise colour.” He said and remembered the ice chocolate. “Shit the chocolate thingies must have melted.”  Louis looked around and there on the floor the towel lay and looked brown and sticky.

“Oops.” He giggled but remembered the reason he had fought “Harry,” He said and the smile slowly disappeared Harry’s eyes falling and filling with sadness probably fearing the worst. “You know we can’t be, oh my god this is so cliché, but we can’t be together. To start with the fact that I’m still with Eleanor, we can’t be gay in a boy band, that’s even more cliché. And to be honest I want to be with you so much but I can’t.”

Louis felt like shit for telling that but he had to, he had to explain how he felt towards harry but how it’s couldn’t happen now.

“Let’s keep it hidden from everyone, apart from Zayn ‘cause I already told him stuff.” Harry said sheepishly.

Louis looked doubtful.

“Le’s go back to how we were in x factor. Let’s be the best friends and if you want a bit more. Like the Larry shippers say we are.”

Louis would do anything to make Harry happy but like he already said he needed to keep Eleanor with him to convince the fans.

“You do know Larry Stylinson started in xfactor don’t you.” He sighed but maybe wasn’t it that bad, maybe they could have a nice friendship and see what happens.

“Okay but in public we’ll have to stay away from each other I don’t want the fans getting involved and I don’t want them to ruin something that didn’t happen.” He said with tired sound to his voice. “I love the fans but… I want things to be normal.”

“Okay.” Harry said he thought Louis would not be an arse hole anymore. ‘Cause if he was Harry would probably still love him, even if it broke his heart and it would break him. He wont be able to handle it.

The show went well. Louis eye had been covered up and Zayn felt bad but to stubborn to say sorry so they just nodded a teach other.

The crowd went wild and Niall almost hurt his knee again. Harry saw his face constrict at the feeling of it almost dislocating but living with it he had learned what to do and recovered before someone else saw.

Harry had a great time preforming Rock me being into the song and started, what fans after the show would call, pole dancing.

Louis didn’t dare look at Harry while he song the song. His body lean and long curling around the mic stand singing so perfectly. Oh god, don’t think about it.

The only thing that got harry a little mad was seeing Eleanor running to Louis when the show ended and jumping into his arms. Louis looked as surprised as Harry at seeing her. He apparently completely forgot about her coming to visit him.

While they were talking and doing other things Harry let his anger out in the gym. Louis might not have agreed being in a relationship or something along those lines but Harry could feel himself getting more possessive of Louis, and more jealous. His fingers itched to steal Louis away but he focus one hitting the punching bag.

Eleanor had gone back home because se needed to be on time for her uni classes, leaving Louis to go and look for Harry. He wanted to know where he was, what he was doing. But when he looked through the little window in the gym he abruptly stopped and kept looking.

Harry was weight lifting, shirtless, and sweaty, chest glistening.

“God.” Louis mumbled.

Harry hadn’t noticed Louis and kept up the good work. He did 20 lifts and decided for 10 minutes on the treadmill. He looked forward to going home, but not so much, he would miss the boys and Louis, he told his mum he’d come visit for a week. So he did they only had 8 day before their European started but he’d see Louis again then.  

He finished his run turned around seeing Louis looking through the little window in the door. He smiled and waved Louis turned red luckily Harry couldn’t see. He was developing a little problem in his pants. Harry walked over to Louis and he opened the door a little Louis desperately hoping he would see.

“El left?” He asked him.

Louis nodded. “Yeah, uni classes in the morning.”

“Okay…, Um can I sleep in your room again?” Harry asked a little shyly.

“Yeah sure.” Louis said still hoping Harry wouldn’t look down.

“Thanks, I’ll shower and I’ll be there.” He said and left back to the shower in the gym and Louis ran to his room, taking a cold shower hoping his problem would go away.

Harry had entered Louis room to find that Louis wasn’t even there. He was in the shower. So Harry just undressed himself until he only had his boxers on and got into bed and waited for Louis.

His problem didn’t go away. It was just as stubborn as the person it was attached to. Proudly standing erect and not bowing for just anyone. Defeated Louis turned the water back on a normal temperature and wrapped a hand around himself and gasped a little. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, hand going up and down. Slow at first until the images of a sweaty harry moving above him flashed in front of his eyes. He let out a little whine, hand going faster. He was about to cum and he knew it, he could feel it just on the edge. He imagined Harry sucking on his skin and rolling his hips into Louis and that did it. He came with a whimper shooting on the shower wall.

Coming down from his high he realised he just came at the though of Harry fucking him.

He was satisfied but yet so mortified. He wasn’t even in a real relationship or even a just sneaking around thing. Harry had looked good this evening.

But when he walked into his room and saw the boy sleep in the bed he thought he had found an angel. The moonlight illuminating his pretty face, highlighting his beautiful features.  The only thing Louis wanted to do is sleep next to him and be with this beautiful creature for the rest of his life and admire it for as long as he lived.

Futures flashed through his mind, this he wanted but were to soon to even think about.

He walked over to his side and crawled in the bed, body as close as possible to Harry’s. He kissed his cheek and he went to sleep.

Harry’s alarm went of the next morning informing him he had to get ready to go home. He got ready and dressed and decided on waking Louis.

“Lou? Wake up please?” he asked the boy and he opened his eyes immediately.

“Humh?” He asked.

“I’m going home today. I’ll be leaving in half an hour, when are you going going home?” Harry asked.

“2 in the afternoon. When will you be back?”

“The 27th.” He answered.

Louis brain focused on that answer. He won’t be seeing harry for an week.

“Ow okay.” He said with a weird voice “See you then.”

“I’m still here for a half an hour.” He said smiling at Louis that had turned his head.

Harry had to control all of his instincts to cuddle Louis and kiss his beautiful face everywhere he could, because Louis wasn’t sure about a relationship and he didn’t want to cheat on Eleanor.

Harry recognized it, Louis was scared of being gay or bi or just being with a boy. Harry would give him all the time he needed to adjust. He just hoped things would work out. He hoped Louis wasn’t as angry with himself as harry had been.

He got scared to sometime but a lot less than before. But he dealt with it.

“Louis I want to cuddle, I wont see you for 7 days.” Harry said.

Louis just moved over and lifted his arm, Harry crawling under it sighing, “I’ll miss you.” He said he said before he knew it.

They were both lying on their stomachs and faced each other. Louis looked a bit shy but answered with an “I’ll miss you too.”

Harry felt like there needed to be a kiss but didn’t dare push Louis boundaries. He just let his head rest on Louis forehead. Closed his eyes and breathed in memorizing this moment, saving it for when he though everything that happened was a dream. 

He was afraid Louis would ignore him after the week away. He felt like this was a vital point and he was going to miss it.

“Louis?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t ignore me again.”

“Okay.”

Harry left Louis 15 minutes later and the boy grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight, and a weird feeling settled in his stomach.

“I’ll miss you.”

Harry said it back bearly loud enough to hear and left quickly hoping the feeling would go away.

When he arrived in London paps were everywhere and he should have expected it. But he went home and drove to his mother’s house. She already expecting him was standing outside. He sent a text saying he’d be there in a few minutes and arrived around 8:30 pm tired from the drive.

He brought his bag with dirty clothes with him and looked with the puppy dog eyes he used to do when he wanted to go to a party, and like old times it worked and she told him to drop them in front of the washer.

“Sit down, do you want some tea?” she asked when had settled and had seen his room. It had a Buddha statue in it and a yoga mat.

His mother had made his room into a yoga room.

“Yeah sure.”

“So how are you?” she asked him.

“I’m okay, just really tired. Driving, touring and all that. How are you?”

“I’m good I’ve been going to a book club, and to be honest I’m really happy I decided to join.”

She talked and talked about the book they had to read and the people that were there. She talked about doing some shopping and then there was this girl that wanted her picture.

“Did you let her have one?” he asked amusement clear in his voice.

“Yeah she was nice about it, asked very politely.” She said and sipped on her tea. “Talking about girls, no girlfriend yet?”

Harry just said “No.” And his mother sighed.

“That’s okay love, I know you will fine your true love one day.”

She just wanted to see him happy. The conversation lasted until 10 pm until Harry had enough and told him mum good night.

“Good night.” She said and Harry ran up the stairs and undressed leaving his boxers on and jumped under the covers, running from the cold. He grabbed his phone and looked at the screen

Louis Tomlinson

I already miss you. Good night x

Louis had sent him a good night text and it looked like the weird feeling wasn’t right about Louis after all. He opened his messages and answered.

To Louis: Miss you too. Good night boo c  
To Louis: oops I meant x  
To Louis: Miss you too. Good night boo x

To Harry: I know what you meant ;p x  
To Harry: Good night x

To Louis: Good night x

Harry smiled to himself and fell asleep feeling happier then he had been for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I've ever written a sexual scene. I hope it didn't suck


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating sooner I had a busy week and my mother and grandmother have been in the hospital it was a little chaotic around here. Enjoy leave a comment. Lots of love. Bye!

Harry spent most of his time home on his phone, texting Louis being stupid and talking about silly things. He only stopped when his mother made him or when his phone died, but then he would plug it in and talk to Louis like that. He walked a bit and thought when Louis would answer his last text.

To Harry: Sorry my mum came to visit and I had to clean the entire flat. 

To Louis: Haha, how much time did you have?

To Harry: 1 hour and I did it ☺

To Louis: Look at you being al grown up and doing the cleaning on your own.

To Harry: Yeah my wife left me and now I need to do everything myself.

They had been careful with the way they said things to each other but gradually they abandoned all caution and jumped in. 

To Louis: I hope there is not some great laundry pile waiting for me when I come home, some random things that you shoved into my room.

To Harry: You know me so well.

To Louis: You really don’t know how to take care of yourself don’t you.

To Harry: You’re right I don’t but I have you right?

Harry smiled at his phone a flash going of in his face. Papz. But he answered Louis his text anyway. Let them write what ever they want.

To Louis: You’ll always have me.

And in London there was a boy smiling like an idiot at his phone alone in his living room television playing and butterflies in his tummy. He hadn’t even though about El since he started texting Harry so much. Harry was the only thing in his mind. The moment Harry left a switch just clicked and Louis didn’t want to care about the fear anymore. He loved their little way of talking to each other.

Their game went to another level the 4th night of Harry being home.  
Harry sat in the sofa with his mother in the second on facing the TV and harry with his back to the window. He was texting Louis again and his mother was getting annoyed at the constant buzzing of his phone.

To Harry: Are you even going to stop talking about me on interviews ;) 

To Louis: Look who’s talking I think there a like videos we did every week in the xfactor. You’d never let me go somewhere alone and always in need of my attention. 

To Harry: You were the one that would crawl in bed with me.

To Louis: You loved sleeping next to me.

To Harry: You loved sleeping next to me.

“Harry, please stop the god damn texting or go somewhere else you are disturbing the TV with all the buzzing. God it’s driving me mad.”

Harry being scared out of the trance his conversation with Louis had brought on and looked at his mum. She had the ‘I’m not kidding’ look in her eyes and Harry just rolled his eyes and walked to his room. He’d talk to Louis there.

To Harry: I really want to have a proper cuddle with you now. 

Harry’s heart warmed at the thought. He wouldn’t want anything else at this point. He just like Louis wanted to sleep next to the boy he loved and kiss his sleeping face, and mumble sweet nothings in his ear.

To Louis: Me too I miss the old days. I miss you.

He really did miss Louis. He missed his voice. He missed his smell, just like he missed the he walked or rolled his eyes whenever Liam said something stupid. He only wanted to touch him. Just his hand brushing Louis would be enough.

To Harry: Miss you too.

And second later Harry’s phone started ringing. He looked at the screen and several emotions when through him. The first was surprize, Louis was calling him. The second was happiness because Louis was calling him. The third was worry, maybe Louis fell asleep on his phone or he pressed call by accident.

But he answered it anyway.

“Hi.” He whispered not wanting to break the silence in his bedroom.

“Hi.” Louis whispered back. Harry felt his heart jump at the sound of Louis voice.

“I enjoy hearing you voice.” Louis said to him still whispering.

“I love hearing your voice too.”

They didn’t talk for a second and harry just listened to Louis breath the sound so much better through his IPhone ears. 

“Hearing you breath is just like being next to you, it’s nice.” He said lying down on his bed closing his eyes.

Louis giggled a little making a smile appear in Harry’s face.

“That was kind of the point of calling you,” Louis voice sounded like he was falling asleep to.

“I can hear you too, it’s almost like you are here.”

Harry sighed and his hand reached out searching a body he won’t find.

“Talk to me, what is your best memory.” Harry asked.

“You sound like a bad interview question. But my best memory is the xfactor house and being in the little cabin you step dad owns. I really liked the happy feeling of going through to the life shows and meeting the boys.”

Harry laughed remembering carrying Louis at the news of going through.

“Remember when we barely knew each other I picked you up and walked away.”

“Yeah, I thought it was funny.”

“That’s the first time we hugged on TV and then all the shit started.” Harry said with a forced laugh.

“Oh well I don’t want to think about it, the things I want to remember is that we didn’t care back then.”

Harry sighed again but didn’t say anymore. He just wanted to fall asleep.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

Louis wanted to tell Harry so much but he just couldn’t so he just didn’t. He just let his thoughts take him away and he fell asleep. Harry waited for Louis to answer but he figured he fell asleep. Leaving Harry to do the same, the rhythmic sound of air brushing the microphone, sending him into oblivion. 

Harry’s mother woke the boy around 8 in the morning wanting him there when his sister arrived back home. He grumbled and growled at the ungodly hour and said he’d be there in a few minutes.

He slowly woke up completely, eyes opening and brain starting to work properly. He thought about his sister, he hasn’t seen her in a while and would love seeing her again. Just not at 8 in the morning. He’s leaving around 5 in the evening tonight so he’ll only see his sister a few hours that made him a little sad. He took his phone and gasped at it still calling Louis now for 7 hours and 34 minutes and 4 seconds and quickly pushed the end button. 

To Louis: We never ended our call. We were on the phone for 7:30:34 !! Ow and I’m coming home today or tomorrow. I’ll probably leave late at night or early tomorrow morning.

He didn’t get a reply and didn’t expect Louis to either. He sure Louis is still sleeping and dreaming about what ever it is that he’s dreaming of right now. Harry had a dream about being able to fly and swimming through air like a dolphin.

“HARRY, GET UP! NOW!” His mother yelled from down stairs.

“I’M UP!” He shouted back rolling his eyes and started removing his clothes from yesterday having fallen asleep in his clothes and not his pyjamas.

“HURRY SHE’LL BE HERE IN 5!”

He brushed his teeth and cursed as soon as he finished his orange juice would taste like shit. He pulled on black skinnies and a black T. 

He got down and his mother was running around like a headless chicken. 

“Mum, its just Gemma. She knows how the place looks like.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to look like a pigs living space, I’m proud of my clean home and that’s it.” She said and harry held his hands in the air and in surrender. Making his way to the chicken and went to get the bread making himself a sandwich sitting down his mother walking in cleaning the things he left.

“Do you this in your house too? Louis must be running after you clean up your mess.”

“No I don’t. I’m the one running after him.” He said looking at his mum walking back to the living room. She just laughed.

Harry just finished his sandwich and the doorbell rang. His mother jumping up and opened the door in record time. He walked into the living room seeing Gemma walk in coat still on and a bag in her hands. Harry smiled at her and walked over.

“Gemmaaaaa!” He shouted

“Harryyy” He hugged his sister lifting her of her feet.

“Harry don’t do that.” She said holding on tighter, he just laughed and put her down.

“You are just small.” He said kissing her cheek.

“So how are you little brother.” She asked “Any luck in the love department.”

Harry rolled his eyes why does everybody ask him that?

“No, no luck here. How about you?”

“I’m on the look out.” She said with a smile and a wink making Harry laugh.

“How is my little girl!” their mother said and threw her arms around her daughter. His mother looked happy and that was nice to see. Things were starting to go better. Tonight he would see Louis. Maybe surprise him with a little teddy bear. But this thought will never leave his mind they are not together.

“Mum, I’m not little.” She said but hugged her anyway. 

She let her go,” You’ll always be my little girl. Now go sit down so we can talk.” 

They all sat down and Ann went to get glasses and a few drinks. “We really need to talk.” Gemma said “It’s been to long.” 

“Yeah it has been to long.” Harry agreed, “How is uni?”

“It’s great, you have to experience it to understand it. So much responsibility, so much freedom.” 

His mother placed the drinks on the table and they all took there glace, sipping on orange juice and coke.

“So tell me about the classes and the teachers, what are people like?” His mother asked Gemma giving her full attention. Harry listened for a while but sneaked of to his room to get his phone. He had a message from Louis getting all happy at the message on his screen.

To Harry: You said you’d be back in today why are you leaving tomorrow?

To Louis: Because my sister just arrived.

To: Harry well there’s not much I can say now. How is she?

To Louis: She’s great. Telling boring stories about her life, but it’s nice to see her again.

To Harry: The moment you get home I want to go to bed or lay in front of the TV and cuddle just like old times in the xfactor house.

To Louis: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a little longer than a week before I update again. I'm facing a bad case of writers block and school.Enjoy!

Harry left around 8 that night. He said goodbye and gave his sister a kiss on her cheek and he gave his mother a hug and a kiss too, she’d kill him if he didn’t. Telling them how sorry he was but he needed to go. Inside his head he was smiling and thinking about Louis and how he would be home with him in a few hours. He would hug Louis and probably never let go.

He thought about surprising Louis and say he would leave tomorrow at 8. But he just texted a goodnight and ignored him. Not telling him and not lying.

The drive took about 3 hours and finally arriving around 11, he got upstairs and opened their little flat in the complex shared with the boys. The lights were out and it looked like Louis had gone to bed.

Harry dropped his bag next to the shoes in front of the door and went to the bathroom having to pee for about and hour now. He brushed his teeth, washed his hands and changed in his pyjamas that existed of grey sweats and a white t-shirt he had found on top of his bag.

When he finished his business in the bathroom he made his way to Louis room finding it to be empty and frowning at the made bed.

Louis never made his bed. He walked inside and it had been cleaned, but Louis never cleaned. He walked back again closing the door behind him. He was confused; maybe Louis left for tonight or just wasn’t home at all.

Harry had wanted to surprise Louis and crawl into bed with him. They had talked about it enough. Being home alone without Louis wasn’t how he imagined the night to go.

Harry had hoped to find him in his bed so he could have crawled in too. He would have moved his legs to Louis and let their feet touch and brush. Louis would wake up and tell him how happy he was to see him. He’d be mad Harry didn’t tell him he’d be home tonight.

In all honesty he just wanted to see Louis. So much. And hold him in his arms, warm and curled up against him.

His feet were on autopilot and carried him to his own room. The door was opened just a little but Harry didn’t notice mind still occupied but opening the door completely and walking inside and stopped at the sight.

There was a boy curled up in Harry’s bed. Legs tangled in the blankets slowly breathing in and out. His hair everywhere, mouth just a bit open but harry couldn’t see that yet but did when he got closer.

Louis was wearing Harry’s sweater, probably to big for him. And somewhere in unconscious mind he registered that Louis was wear his sweater and sleeping in his bed, holding on to his blankets.

Harry just froze and just gapped at the boy sleeping in his bed. He was so beautiful. Like a little angel.

Harry didn’t notice that he moved closer to the bed until he sat down next to Louis lifting his had and brushing the hair from his eyes. He leaned down and pressed a little kiss to Louis temple. Louis breath didn’t even change.

Harry crawled under the covers and Louis moved a bit, but yet again didn’t wake up. Harry didn’t care how tired he was, or how creepy it looked to be staring at a sleeping person but he just couldn’t help himself.

Louis had closed his mouth and placed a hand under his cheek when harry got in, letting go of the blankets that he had trapped in his hands. He wished he could see Louis eyes his cerulean blue eyes, those that could trap him with just a glance.

Harry’s eyes moved down to his lips, pretty lips so soft and pink not that harry could see much colour now but he knew.

Louis little beard that started growing not so long ago. It looked really good on him. Harry lifted his finger moving it, touching Louis jawline and tracing it slowly.

Louis blinked and Harry saw the boy waking up but didn’t stop and let his finger do what it wanted going to Louis neck and back let it trace his eyebrows and softly touch his lips, like he was forcing the feel of Louis face into his memory, Louis now completely awake but not really registering anything. They were just big cerulean blue eyes, looking at him in wonder.

Harry let his finger drop onto Louis hand and that made Louis eyes focus. They widened, taking Harry in gazing at him for about a minute and surging forward kissing him on the mouth, placing his and on Harry’s cheek and pulling the boy into him.

Harry couldn’t have been more surprized at what Louis just did. To be honest he didn’t think Louis would ever kiss him again. But his mind became more and more hazy when Louis didn’t pull away, getting closer and Harry letting his hand go under the covers and grip Louis hip. Letting their legs tangle together.

Everything Louis pulling him more and more towards the boy deepening the kiss, and then it was over and Louis was gone. Just as sudden as it begun it stopped and Harry felt like he just got up from being under water to long.

“You didn’t say you’d be home today!” Louis said lips just a bit red and breath coming a little sort.

Harry couldn’t form any coherent answer as Louis stole all his words with on kiss. His voice gone and eyes not letting go of Louis replaying the kiss in his head.

“I would have waited for you and maybe cleaned a bit,” Louis said “and not have slept in your bed.” He added sheepishly cheeks going pink.

But all harry could say was “Hi,” adding a little and weak “surprise!”

Louis just looked at him dumbly and started laughing. “Oh god I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” He said the twinkling in Louis eye glowing like the second star on the right. “You are sleeping in my bed, and wearing my shirt to sleep in.”

Louis went a little redder, “It’s warmer here,” he said weakly “ and my cloths are dirty.”

Harry just moved closer smile on his face and burring his nose in Louis neck taking a deep breath and closed his eyes, drowning himself in Louis. Slowly losing grip on reality and falling in a deep sleep, Louis following Harry not long after, dreaming about each other and flying amongst the clouds.

Louis was the first to wake up. His arm was asleep and it tickled but he had a fantastic pillow that moved up and down and he could here the beating of a heart. He knew the smell that came from the pillow, the warm breathing pillow.

_Harry_

Louis was still afraid to just feel but was learning to just ‘cause things can just end and it will be over forever. And he doesn’t want it to be over.

He could feel the boy stir in his sleep but he didn’t wake up. Probably still tired from the drive.

Louis stayed their wanting to wait for Harry to wake up, but after an hour he got up, scared his rumbling belly would wake the sleeping boy.

Walking to the kitchen his mind went back to the kiss. It felt so right. It just fit, like it never did with Eleanor. He though love was what he had with El but he was so wrong. Gabbing the kettle and filling it. He needed his morning tea and as he waited for the water to boil he closed his eyes letting his mind just stop for a minute.

Harry on the other hand had been enjoying his dream that was currently flowing around in his mind.

_Louis was standing in their kitchen making tea, filling the kettle and placing it on the fire and stretched a strip of skin showed. Harry couldn’t resist and before he knew it he was standing behind Louis, hands on Louis his hips and nose pressed behind Louis ear breathing in letting his breath tickle Louis skin making goose bumps appear. Louis leaned in and tilted his head giving Harry all the space he needed. Harry kissed his neck place kisses everywhere when he stopped at the spot just below Louis ear and bit down. Louis let out a little whimper and harry pulled his hips into his Louis immediately pushing back. Harry sucked on the skin licking it and bit down again._

_“Harry…” a little moan escaping out of Louis mouth sending warm to Harry’s belly._

_Harry smiled into his skin letting go and pushing Louis against the counter, the arousal in his belly growing. He rolled his hips against Louis ass, groaning at the feeling_.

_“I want you,” he whispered in his ear, “now.”_

But the loud sound of something falling and breaking tore him from his dream, Louis cursing making him open his eyes and feeling the hard on he had.

He sighed and just shouted “Lou? You okay?” He would have gone and look if he was okay but yeah, a little problem showed up.

Louis was so hot, those little moans and how he said Harrys name still echoed in his head. He didn’t think he’d be able to look Louis in the eye. He just had a almost sex dream about Louis.

“Yeah fine just dropped the kettle, nothing happened.” He shouted back.

“Okay.” Harry called and got ready to take care of his problem.

Harry appeared 30 minutes later in the kitchen looking relaxed and a little tired. He filled a glass with some water and drank it all at once.

“Good morning.” Louis said as harry sat down next to him in the living room. And suddenly Harry couldn’t wait anymore and took hold of Louis chin leaning down to kiss Louis, lips landing softly on Louis. Louis didn’t expect it, but he recovered quickly and let his hands lock around Harry’s neck sitting up on knees pulling harry up with him. Harry gasped at Louis tongue licking his lips, letting him inside whimpering in the back of his throat. Their tongue’s sliding against each others looking for the sounds that made them kiss harder. Passion growing fast and everything around them falling away, not knowing where they were, both of them getting dizzy at the sensation and then letting go to take a deep breath, the tension breaking and both falling back down on the sofa.

Sound returning to them, the interior making sense again and their breath loud in their ears.

Both of them thinking

_“He’ll be the death of me.”_   



	15. Chapter 15

The start of the tour came with new rules for Harry and Louis. The few days before they had have been mostly being together not much talk. They spent most of the time just in bed or watching a movie squished together as close as they could be. Sharing kisses and giggling and sometimes things got to hot and one would pule away. Needing space and going to the kitchen or toilet.

The rules were mostly made to keep the boys in the dark. Louis and Harry both didn’t want them to know because they didn’t even know what was happening, all though they had a very good guess. 

No kissing would probably be the hardest one. Harry just kissed him whenever he pleased those few days but having a restrained made him a little irritable. Louis had asked harry to talk about the rules. 

When he told harry the first time he didn’t know what to think or feel. But after Louis looked at him with those needy eyes and Harry saw he was scared. Louis was scared and that didn’t happen often and not being with Louis would hurt more then just being with Louis when they were alone. 

“Okay, what do you want me to do?” He asked him taking hold of his hand. They were sitting on Louis bed Harry, sheets needed to be washed. 

“I think we shouldn’t tell the boys what has happened. I want to-“ He stopped cutting himself of “I just don’t want them to know,” Harry looked like he was going to object so Louis added “Right now.” 

“So you want us to act like we did before?” Harry asked with a little bit of fear creeping on his skin. 

“Yeah just like always, normal friends.” Louis said moving his other hand to Harry’s squeezing. Harry didn’t want to be ignored again. 

“Okay.” He said after swallowing his saliva and looking away from Louis eyes. 

Louis seemed to have notice Harry something because he asked him “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah perfectly fine.” 

“Harry, you do know I won’t block you out again.” Louis said, “I’m sorry I ever did, I was having a proper freak out at the moment.” 

Harry looked up.

“And I was being a utter dick.” 

Harry giggled at Louis seeing the old Louis shining through the clouds of angst and troubled feelings. 

Louis smiled at seeing Harry giggle and happy. Even if it was hard to do it he wasn’t going to be a slave of his own emotions. 

“Let’s go to bed.” He said, “It’s going to early tomorrow.”  

“Okay.” He said and crawled to the head of the bed peeling the covers away and got under. 

“I’m sorry Harry, I don’t think I can handle people knowing.” Louis said as Harry moved closer to him. 

“I know.” He said and placed a kiss on Louis head. “Go to sleep.”

I took a few hours for Harry to fall asleep but when he did he slept the whole night and dreamed about Louis kissing him on stage and starting a scandal. 

The morning came to soon for both of them waking them with the annoying sound of marimba. 

“God damn it change the god damn tune.” Louis grumbled into his pillow. 

“Louis it’s your phone.” Harry grumbled back ending the alarm and sitting up. He looked around letting the sleep leave his body. 

“Lou? Are you awake?” 

A grunt came from that direction and Harry took it for a yes. 

“I’m going to take a shower, if you’re not up I’ll pour a bucket of ice water over you.” 

Harry got up and showered quickly and got dressed. He walked to the kitchen getting a glass of water. Sipping it carefully he looked up feeling fresh and awake even if he was tired.

7:34 on the clock 

“LOU?” He called no answer. “Damn.” 

He went back to Louis room and opened the door finding Louis with IPhone ears in and slipping out of his boxers. 

Ow god. Harry gapped and frozen where he was standing. Louis bum on perfect display, cheeks making a perfect curve down to his legs. He moved towards the window looking out and standing on his toes swaying to the sound of the music in his ears. Moving and dancing around until he turned and saw harry gapping at him. 

Harry couldn’t look away and just kept staring. But as soon as he turned he slammed his hand in front of his eyes. 

“Um, I’m sorry, get ready.” He said and walked off head as red as a tomato and arousal flowing true his veins. Louis his body the only thing going through his head, burned in his memories. 

O god he wanted Louis so bad now, he wanted to kiss him and make him moan with pleasure. He needed to feel Louis. 

So he waited for Louis in the kitchen and trying to calm down forcing his brain not to think about the hard on that was coming to life. Louis walked in a little shy and embarrassed about dancing naked in front of Harry. Even it was kind of hot. He did have a great bum and needed to see people that. 

Harry turned around placing his glass in the sink and turned around to face Louis that had moved closer to him. Harry looked at the clock 12 minutes and they had to leave for Liverpool. 

He just went for a passionate kiss that made them a gasping mess and grinding into each other when Liam texted him telling them to get ready. Harry hoped his boner would just go away. He didn’t want to get teased about it. 

A little moan escaped his mouth. 

Louis giggled and kissed his neck. “Pretty boy.” 

The goddamn it those nicknames will be the death of Harry and this ‘pretty boy’ is his new favourite.

“God Louis stop please I need to go and pee.” He said and pushed him off running towards the bathroom to try and calm down. 

Louis had been annoyed at first but then surprised at how he acted not knowing he was such a slut for Harry. His cheeks flaming at his own actions. 

This really happened didn’t it he thought.

And Harry that had flushed and washed his hands didn’t want things to happen this way. He wanted it to be sweet and loving the first time he had sex with anyone. And that was something that Louis didn’t know, Louis had never asked and they never really talked about it so Harry had never told him he was a virgin. 

Harry fucking Styles the most popular boy in the world is a bloody virgin. 

Yeah being an 18 year old virgin isn't something he enjoyed telling people. But being this old gave him time to think about it.

He wanted love and not just fucking and that is what he wanted and he'll wait for, even if it took him a little longer than the 13 year olds getting pregnant. 

They end up being the last to arrive and that meant sitting in the front the other seats already being taken. Leaving quickly with their entire luggage stuffed into the back of the van the bus would be there so the fans thought they were already inside. 

Niall had fallen asleep, snoring softly and head resting on Liam’s shoulder. Liam sometimes brushed Niall’s head with his hand. The rest of the boys didn't say much and just waited to arrive at the venue. 

They slipped in quickly and were immediately escorted to the dressing rooms and then ordered to go have the sound check so the crew could continue working. 

The songs were going okay. Until they got to the last few songs when Louis slipped down the stairs scaring the shit out of Louis but stayed where he did not want to draw attention. 

You okay. Niall mouth at him as he stood back up. Louis nodded but stayed where he was not moving around much. He must have been hurt but didn’t want to tell them. 

Back in the dressing rooms Louis kept to himself not walking around so harry sat next to him. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah I’m fine,” he said looking at the floor. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure.” He snapped and hopped off. 

“So much for trying to comfort someone.” He mumbles taking out his phone. Opening twitter and reading his feed. 

They had to keep busy before the show. Niall was throwing the ball against the wall and catching it and throwing it again, making a constant noise that really, really annoyed him. 

“Please Niall stop it.” He said and looked down. “Just stop, it’s annoying.” 

Niall dropped the ball and walked away looking for another distraction. Harry now left alone in the little room. 

Harry wanted a hug and he wanted that hug to be a Louis hug. He wanted his sort of boyfriend to be there and kiss him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Hi everybody that reads this. I have been sick the entire week and don't need to go to school and when I'm bored I write so that why you guys are getting a early update. I feel like there's to much drama but tell me what you think give me advise this is like my first story that I take a little serious.  
> Second I used a song/music video in this chapter. It was kind of the inspiration for this chapter so if you want to you can listen to it when you read this or watch it whatever. Say Something by a great big world.  
> Okay goodbye my silent readers I love all of you. Leave a comment.

Louis was like he always had having trouble with telling people he was hurt. He just didn’t want to seem weak. He just hurt his knee and his ankle making it a little difficult to be energetic. But he wouldn’t admit he was hurt. So he kept hopping around. Getting worried looks from Harry. 

He still needed to talk to Eleanor, the needed to break up and he needed to talk Zayn about the fight. He wanted to apologize but he didn’t know how. But in the end he just walked up to Zayn and said, “I’m sorry about the fight, you were right.” And he walked off. Leaving Zayn a little confused but happy he finally said something. 

Eleanor didn’t happen because he still didn’t want to hurt her. She is a really sweet and nice girl. He just didn’t want to hurt her even if she had hurt him more than once. 

Maybe it was a good thing to be locking a bus with the other boys because it gave him a chance to talk to Harry. Louis hadn’t really moved a lot in the bus he just had gone to the end of the big couch in the bus. The one they had to move everything for and all of them fit on. 

Louis had move to lie next to the wall and had made Harry sit next to him. That had surprised the boy immensely. He just did what he was told and moved in next to Louis Niall next to Harry and the Zayn and Liam. Liam had chosen the movie they were going to watch and they would probably all fall asleep to. 

Liam being the father of the group had made them take their cover from the bunks and keep them near. He just knew they would fall asleep here. There was a bottle of Coca Cola next to Liam and being past through the five of them whenever they were thirsty. 

Louis being under the cover of his blankets had dared to let his hand move closer to Harry’s. He just needed to feel the boy’s skin. So he let his finger brush Harry’s going unnoticed by him, being too caught up in the movie. 

Louis moved lying on his side head resting on his pillow and eyes on Harry looking at the boy. The curly haired boy that had his heart and didn’t even know. Louis was good at hiding it, a little to good. 

The thing is that he used to show it with all he did. He showed it in smiles, in little looks, in actions, in word, in every way he could find. But now he had learned to keep that part locked away. He had learned to block and lock people out, cut them out and no one caring enough to force the lock to break. 

No one but Harry for now he still had Harry. 

He let his finger curl around Harry’s holding on tight. Harry had no reaction but his breathing quickened but let Louis move his fingers until his hand has wrapped around Harry’s. 

The second finger slipped next to the first holding on, the third on its way to join, Harry closing his eyes at the contact. The fourth and fifth following quickly as also Louis closed his eyes. 

This little touch seemed like the only thing Louis lived for. Harry opening his eyes and moving facing Louis and lying on his side. The smaller boy could feel his eyes burning on his face but didn’t do anything about it. 

He just concentrated on the feeling of balance he had found in the little gesture. The feeling of love travelling through him at the speed of light, he needed more but he could only ask so much when the boy where present. But he almost didn’t care. He moved his leg brushing Harry’s and tangling. He wanted to go even closer but didn’t dare do anything. 

They lie there for a long time eyes closed and floating in and out of sleep but still touching. The boys had all gone to sleep even the chauffeur had changed with his partner. But in the darkness of the night there were two boys holding on to something they didn’t dare dream of. 

Louis arm was asleep but he still didn’t move but harry must have noticed something because he moved even closer but didn’t let go. He made Louis turn around and spooned him finger still linked together, Louis turning his head for a kiss and Harry placing a light on his lips. It might have been brief but there was more meaning in it than anything they had ever said to each other. 

Harry pressed his nose into Louis neck and inhaled making Louis shiver. Louis was happy that the boys next to them were oblivious to what was happening and snoring peacefully. Harry moved his leg tangling it with Louis that flinched at the movement. Harry had placed his leg on Louis hurting ankle. 

“You did hurt yourself didn’t you?” he said and moved his leg away from his ankle Louis blushing in the dark but didn’t answer. Harry didn’t need him to he knew. 

He just closed his eyes hugging Louis even closer, letting the bus rock them to sleep.

- 

Harry could hear voices for far away talking in a whisper but he tried to ignore them not wanting to wake up already. 

“Should we wake them?” one asked. 

“No, let them sleep.” The other answered. 

“But they still need to eat and were supposed to be getting to the sound check.” The first said again. 

“Yeah I know but look at them.” 

Silence. 

“They do look cute don’t they?” 

“Yeah they do.” 

Silence again. All of them thinking the same thing but not saying it. 

_Like a couple._  

Harry moved before they could say anything. 

He turned around and opened his eyes blinking at them like they had fish heads but then said, “I know I’m cute.” 

They all rolled their eyes and went on their way outside the bus had stopped. This was the only night they had to spend in the bus being in London meant they could go home each night if they wanted to. 

Harry wanted to. 

He got up out of bed and got dressed not wanting to wear the clothes he fell asleep in. He slept next to Louis and Louis did the hand thingy. He could do a little victory dance from happiness and did a little jump with there.   

He looked over at Louis the boy still sleeping and looked around seeing the boys had left and crawled in the bed and half on Louis kissing him awake. 

“Lou, wake up!” 

The boy opening his eyes and looked at Harry. 

“Good morning.” He mumbled with a yawn looking realy tired but then realizing where he was and pushed harry off giving him a look. 

“There not here.” Harry said but went away if that was what Louis wanted. 

“No come back.” Louis said and sat up straight brushing his hair out of his face. 

“Why? The boys might see us.” He said coldly. 

Louis looked down pulling at his fingernails. 

“It’s not like that…” he said slowly. 

“Than what is it?! Is it the fact that I’m a boy that you really like or what?!” Harry was getting angry but he didn’t mean to. Louis thought that Harry would do that after he asked not to in presents of the boys. 

“I’m sorry! I’m just scared!” Louis shouted at Harry, he was losing Harry too. The one that always pushed through Louis walls. 

And Harry couldn’t say anything to that. He knew what it was to be scared and what it is not to know if this is just temporary. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have shouted or said those things.” Harry said sitting down happy excitement from before gone. 

“You do know I would never do anything you asked not do, do you?” 

“Yeah, I know, I panicked. Come here I wanted to thank you for…”He said thinking for the right word “ being discreet yesterday.” 

Harry smiled and looked at the adorable ball of blankets and hair and blue eyes. 

“You’re welcome.” And crawled to Louis lying down next to him Louis throwing a leg over Harry and going in for a kiss. 

The kiss was short and sweet but just as enjoyable as the others. 

This relationship is one crazy rollercoaster. One moment their fighting and the other they’re kissing like nothings happened. 

“You need to get ready we should be doing the sound check about now.” Harry told him softly making him sigh and roll over him 

“Louieeeee.” Harry groaned and Louis giggled as he changed his clothes. 

“I’ll go and tell the other you’re getting ready.” He said and got up kissing his cheek and running off. 

Even if what happened yesterday and what happened this morning it still made Harry a little sad to withhold this from the boys. 

The backstage room had a TV and Zayn had looked for a music channel letting it play and walked away. He always does that but the other enjoyed the music so no one stopped it. 

The song had changed from a happy up beat song to ‘Say something’ from A great big world and Christina Aguilera. Harry was glued to the screen and when had to fight not to let his eyes water. 

Louis walked in on the little display of raw emotion on Harry’s face. The boy almost crying and Louis could hear the lyrics clearly and strong. 

Harry couldn’t look away. He was petrified unable to move. He didn’t want to become like the couple in the video. The couple in the beginning, but he could see it, it was a possible future for him and Louis. 

The lyrics had a bigger impact that he would have thought it got stuck in his head and probably wouldn’t let go of him very soon.

The song ended and the music ended snapping Harry out of it. He got up to look for Niall needing a fun distraction. But as he did he could see Louis in the doorway. 

He gulped averting his eyes and walking away quickly. Leaving him alone in the room.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi my lovely readers.  
> I won't be updating until next month I'm going on a trip with school and I think its going to take a lot from me and I'm already really tired. So I hope you guys can wait a bit. Enjoy! Leave a comment! I'll try and update as soon as possible. xx  
> (I really don't know what I'm doing)

There concert went okay not great but okay. Harry though about the song a lot and Louis seemed to think about it too because he seemed to keep an eye on Harry. 

Harry was really distracted so in little things he sang, “I’m in love with Lou and all his little things” Making the crowd scream like crazy. Louis went along with it but didn’t know what to feel about it. 

After the show Louis asked him to go home with him “I think we need to talk. Meet me at home?”

Harry was surprised to hear Louis take the lead again but nodded. They both got home separately Harry getting home around 11ish and Louis being late. 

Harry had almost fallen asleep when he did show it was around 1 am. 

“Harry?” He could hear Louis shout from the door “Please be awake.” 

“I’m here,” He said “what took so long?” 

Louis sighed and sat down next to Harry “I saw Eleanor.” He said 

Harry didn’t think he’d get so angry at hearing her name and was on the verge of starting a shouting match when Louis said, “I broke up with her.” 

His anger left him immediately and surprize took its place his mouth opening without his permission “Are you okay? Is she okay?” 

Louis laughed a humourless laugh “What do you think?” 

Okay that was sort of a stupid question. "Are you? Do you need something?" 

Louis looked at him for a few seconds "I need you to tell me what you want me to do, I can't keep forcing you to hide with me at least not to the boys." 

Harry was shocked. 

"I want this. I want you and I don't think that's going to change." Louis smiled " And I can fight this as hard as I can it'll only make you sad and miserable and I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. I'll do my best to make you happy but it's going to take some time. Getting used to it and all that." 

Harry didn't know what to say his brain froze and his speech ability didn't work anymore. Louis just kind of confessed his love and not only in word but also in actions he broke up with Eleanor for Harry. 

"I'm sorry I made you cheat on your girlfriend." was the first thing that came out of his mouth. 

Louis made a weird noise that was something between a gasp and a laugh. "That's okay." 

"I want you to be comfortable with who you are and do thing you pace." Harry said slowly "You saw me today with the song, it made a big impression on me and-" 

"And I don't want this to happen to us." Louis finished. 

"Me either." Harry said. 

"I do have troubles with hiding, I've been hiding for almost 2 years or more." Harry sighed, "I want you decide when we start telling people, Lou." 

He nodded 

"Baby steps?" He asked.

"Baby steps." Harry confirmed.

Louis leaned in and kissed harry sweetly and lovingly "I don't want to lose you." He whispered. 

"You won't I'm yours." He whispered back to Louis. “I have been for a long time.” 

Louis heart melted at those words he move his body and harry pulled him onto his lap. He sat down stradeling Harry and his arms around his neck. 

"I love you so much."  Harry pressed his mouth to Louis's and kissed him hard. This was the first time he said that Louis loved Harry. 

Louis didn’t have time to worry about the fact he had just said that because Harry said it back with a huge smile on his face. 

“I love you too.” Harry said without hesitation knowing this is right. 

Louis could feel himself wanting to pull away things are getting to real but at the same time he wants them to be real and hard and heavy to bear. He want Harry’s kiss to make him dizzy. He wants Harrys hands all over his body. 

Louis let his hands move over Harry’s face. Fingers brushing his eyebrows and eyes scanning his face his hand on Harry’s cheeks and pulling him in for another kiss. This one was more desperate. 

Their lips crushed together and tongues licking their way into each others mouth. Harry’s body reacting with a little moan, his hands on Louis back his fingers tracing Louis boxers that peeked out his jeans, sending shiver up Louis spine. 

Louis needed to be closer so he push harry onto his back forcing him to lay down Louis tangling their legs. This felt so right. Bodies pressed together and fitting like a puzzle. 

Harry liked Louis his enthusiasm and reacted with the same want towards him. His hand move to Louis bum and squeezing it a little getting a good feel making Louis push his bum into Harry’s hand. 

Harry was surprised but not as surprized when Louis pushed their quickly hardening cocks against each other. 

"Louieeee.." Harry gasps into Louis mouth and bit his lip. Louis stopped smiling a bit. 

"Want... want me to do that again?" He asked him a little shyly, harry nodded Louis looked so hot like this. His lips all puffed up and red from kissing.

"You like this?" He asked teasing a bit and repeating the movement enjoying the friction of there cocks rubbing together. 

Louis liked the way Harry turned into pudding when he did that. Louis let his mouth close around Harry's neck and started sucking a bruise into the skin.

Harry pushed his hips against Louis and they both fell of the sofa killing the moment a bit. 

"God awtch, Harry, that kind of really hurt." Louis said rubbing the back of his head and pulling a face. 

"’M sorry." He said took the pillow from the couch and lifting Louis head and putting it under him. "I didn't mean to throw you on the ground." He was so embarrassed. 

Louis just smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, this one a little slower and less intense. 

"Let's go to bed." Harry nodded and regretfully pulled his hand from Louis body. He didn't want to let the moment go he wanted to kiss him and grind against him and squeeze his bum. That pretty round ass that Louis had been shaking in front of him.   

God. 

Harry stumbled a bit and almost fell down again. He looked like a little boy. A little boy getting embarrassed at all the thing he does. Louis recognized this from what his first girlfriend had been acting like when things got a bit hotter. She had been a virgin and had been jumpy and red faced at the time. 

Louis looked at the boy wondering if he had sex before. 

Louis didn’t say anything that night, they went to bed and Harry slept in his underwear and Louis kissed his neck and whispered some sweet words into his ear, letting his finger trace not existing patterns. 

Harry had closed his eyes and turned to lay on his back, making space for Louis to draw on his stomach. 

His fingers left a trail of goose bumps making harry shiver and sigh. Slowly falling asleep. Louis not stopping and studying the boy, letting his eyes trail down his body, his face. 

His hair had not been washed but it wasn’t really in need of it, it looked like always curly and unruly. His lovely eyes were closed, his cute little nose followed then his lips plump and red, full and soft every time they kissed. 

His body was relaxed and a little pale looking not having seen the sun recently. His chest went up and down with his breathing. He had a nice body, Louis pressed a last kiss to his neck. 

“You have had my heart since I saw you in that toilet.” Harry was already sleeping and Louis knew he had already said to much but he didn’t want to care anymore. There was a long road ahead of them but he would want to walk it with anyone else. Somewhere along that road he needed to tell people and then more people and eventually the world. 

“Baby steps.” He whispered to himself taking a deep breath calming himself. “Baby steps.” 

Louis needed to stay calm and this is something that can be the most beautiful thing in his life. He wanted to be with his boyfriend and love his and treat him like he is worth to be treated, with all the love in the world and more. 

He kissed Harry of his cheek and made himself comfortable. It took Louis a little longer to fall asleep than normally but he enjoyed looking at Harry and admiring what he’s like how he handled Louis being like he is. 

With all the bullshit he put him through and was still here waiting for him. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with this chapter but I wanted to update so here it is. Sorry for the long wait had a bit of trouble writing.

The morning was nice but they didn’t have a lot time to talk but they did talk about something. 

“Harry, I know you don’t want to hide so I thought about telling the boys so when we’re with them we won’t need to.” 

“Okay, when do you want to tell them?” 

“I want to do it the 10th of this month.” He said looking at Harry turning around when he pulled of the t-shirt he used as pyjamas. 

Don’t look at his body even if it’s so good looking don’t look. He looked anyway eyes going down Louis his chest and seeing his little tummy. 

He shook his head and forced himself to look at Louis. 

“That’s in 8 days, why then?” 

Louis bit his lip “ Because it a round number and it’s not that far away.” 

“Okay 10th of April.” Harry said. 

“Yesssss.” Louis said letting the s sis like a snake. 

“Thanks Lou.” Harry said with a smile.

Time passed fast when they stayed in the same city and when the city was their own even faster. Louis wasn’t really trying to hide anymore he talked to Harry more, started joking sometimes. 

Harry started smiling more even if it was a guarded smile he smiled. The 5th of April they got all went to Harry and Louis part of the building and had a movie and mostly drinking night. Louis was getting a little light headed and Niall had made out with Zayn making Harry laugh in the process. 

“I’m sorry.” He said giggling. “I’m just really really lonely.”   

Louis started laughing at that too Liam not even knowing what happened he fell asleep 20 minutes ago. 

“How can you fall asleep in a time like this!” Niall shouted throwing a pillow at Liam missing “The sky’s awake so he should be away so we must drink.” 

Zayn just shook his head and laughed, “You need to go to bed.” He told Niall letting his hand go trough Nialls hair. 

“No I’ll be good.” He said and shut up. “Sorry Liam” He whispered. 

Liam was just as oblivious as before snoring lightly. Niall and Zayn sat in front of the little coffee table and Harry and Louis shared a couch, after a long time not cuddling in front of the other. 

Niall and Zayn were talking about the fans signing along with every song like every one. 

“They just know the words better than us. Remember Louis forgot his words and they just kept singing.” 

“Yeah I know…” Zayn answered but Harry stopped listening and turned to Louis trying to get closer enjoying the buzz from the beer they drank. 

“I really want to kiss you right now.” He said quietly making sure the other didn’t hear. 

“I feel the same way.” He mumbled answering him. 

“Can we like be really quiet and just do it, they’re to busy talking.” 

Louis looked over he didn’t want to be seen, but he really wanted to kiss harry and being a little drunk he just did it. 

He moved closer and his eyes shut as his lips touch Harry’s. Harry reacting surprised and he didn’t know what to do but caught on quickly. 

The kiss was sort and sweet and no one saw a thing. 

On the eve of the 7th they heard that they had one day of because they had to travel to New castle. 

So that meant bus day and right now they were on the 3rd hour in the bus. 

Harry had been looking out the window and just thinking about how his life had changed, remembering what it was to be Harry and not Harry Styles. 

He never thought he would miss that life. He liked the attention but he never wanted it in this form. But he would never change anything. If he wanted he would never have met Louis. 

"Hi Haz." Louis said sitting down next to him. Harry didn’t even hear him come in. 

"Hi, I was just thinking about you." He said turning his head looking at Louis. 

"Really? What about?" 

"The first time we met." He said. 

"That's a long time ago." He answered, "You know I think I still have that piece of paper I made you sign." 

Harry laughed, "I can't tell you how happy I was and still am to be in a band with you." 

Louis smiled and leaned in to kiss him but harry put a hand on his shoulder. "The others..." He said 

"I don't care." Louis said and pushed Harry's hand away kissing him. They were alone in the back but Liam, Niall or Zayn could just walk in nothing but a half closed door between them. But Harry didn't care either. 

He let in his hand going to cup Louis his chin and deepening the kiss. Louis licking his lips asking for entrance, harry natural opened his mouth letting Louis tongue inside. He moaned a little at the feeling and his stomach tingling like on a rollercoaster.  Louis gave on last lick and pulled back again. 

"That felt good." He sighed and started giggling harry joining in and the both laughed feeling happy and in love. Louis eventual rested his head against Harry's shoulder and just enjoyed each other’s company. Falling asleep and being woken up by Zayn telling them they had arrived. 

Getting of the tour bus was a little different with all the fans that had found them and stood around the vehicle wanting a picture.

"Harry can I have a picture?” some girl asked to his left. 

“Sure love.” He said and leaned down next to hear, smiling for the picture. 

“Thank you so much!” she said smile brighter than the sun. 

He smiled back and said “Bye!” and went to another girl wanting the same. 

He place some autographs and took some more pictures and was pushed into the hotel by security.  

Walking inside immediately changed the entire scene the loud screams had gone, he could see his band mates and could breath properly. Harry made his way next to Louis letting his hand lightly brush Louis. The boy didn't do anything the first time but when harry kept letting his fingers brush the back of Louis hand he needed to surprises a smile. 

"Stooopppp..." He whisper smiled. "Fanss.." 

"They can't see." Harry whispered back but let Louis be. 

"Boys!" Paul announced "I've got the keys to you rooms. Behave." he said and gave everyone their own letting them go up with their bags in hand. 

The room numbers when from 435-440 and Harry had number 438 right in the middle. He would be hearing ever one. He groaned. 

Getting settled for the time they stayed there witch was 2 nights and 3 days. Harry didn't do shit he just threw himself on the big bed with the fluffy pillows and closed his eyes. 

He heard someone nock but he didn't want to get up so he called "Who is it?" 

"It's Niall open up!" the person shouted back trying to open the door without the key. 

Harry briefly thought about telling him to go away but got up anyway. "Come in" he said holding the door open. Niall walked inside and sat down on the bed. 

"I'm lonely." Niall said crossing his legs under his looking at Harry with big puppy eyes "Want to cuddle?" He asked. 

Harry opened his mouth to answer yes but stopped himself. 

_Louis wouldn't mind would he?_

Louis wasn't here and he knows what it's like to go on tour and get lonely. He cuddled a lot with Zayn and Harry to know that then whining about being away from his girlfriend for that long. 

"Sure why not." he answered and got on the bed holding up his arm and Niall crawled under it. 

"I'm sorry to bother you with this but yeah I don't know... I'm just down." He said and got a little closer. 

"I understand." Harry said "Louis had that to sometimes." 

Niall smiled "Yeah I know. You guys seem to reconnect." 

Harry didn't answer. 

"It's nice to see."

Harry smiled just hand full days to go before they would tell the boys.

"Yeah." he said, "It's nice." 

They lay there in silence for a while when Harry started to drift of but heard the lock click open. 

He opened his eyes tiredly and saw Louis in the door opening. 

"What are you doing?" He asked a silent and controlled voice. 

"Niall was lonely." 

Louis was a little angry he was supposed to be the one laying in Harrys arms Niall needed to fuck off. 

"That’s my spot." He said pointing at the sleeping boy. 

Harry didn't say anything for a moment but eventually said, "I know but you weren't her and I thought you wouldn't mind." 

Louis didn't even want to think it, but he was extremely jealous. The ugly green monster sowing his face and took over. He stuck out his tongue and slammed the door shut. 

"Shit." he said Niall jumping awake. 

"What's wrong" He mumbled but Harry had jumped up and walked to the door trying to catch Louis before his mood struck anyone else. 

"Louis!" he shouted seeing him slam his own door. "Please don't do this,” he begged. 

"Louis?" He asked but no luck the silence was Harry’s only reaction. 

"Damn it." he said and went to get the key that opens all doors. Paul always got one of those for when he needed to wake the boys. 

"Bring it back it's the second one I've given to one of you boys." He said.

He got back to Louis room and opened the door, going inside. 

He dropped the key on the little table and walked over to the bed sitting down to the Louis shaped lump. 

“I’m sorry babe,” He said and Louis sighed Harry could hear him. “You are the only one allowed to sleep next to me. I should have told him no.” 

Louis appeared from under the covers hair a mess and face a little red it's hot under those covers. 

“I’m sorry to, I shouldn’t have reacted that way. If Niall was lonely he should be cuddled Niall isn’t made to be a sad boy.” He said 

Harry smiled down at Louis and he started laughing. 

“Why are you so happy?” Harry asked the smiling boy. 

“You called me babe.” He said giggling.


	19. Chapter 19

They woke up on the 10th of April Louis a nervous mess and Harry worried sick. Louis had been awake since 4:36 and hadn’t tried sleeping again. He might have been talking big and he might have said he didn’t care if the boys saw them kiss but he still didn’t think he was ready for this. 

Harry woke from Louis constant moving about in the hotel bed they shared. It had been difficult to fall asleep but he eventually did. But the boy next to him had been restless in his sleep and woke up still restless. 

“Louis things are going to be alright, yeah? There is no need to be this nervous.” But harry was just as nervous but one of them need to keep calm. “They wont judge or hate us.” 

“How do you know that? You can’t know that.” Louis sounded like a bad tv show. 

“Because they are like brothers and I don’t think they could hate any of the band.” 

Louis just sighed and still looked worried and scared Harry got in closer and let his arm go around his body hugging him close. He kissed Louis neck and whispered sweet nothings into his ear trying to calm him. 

It did help a bit Louis had turned around and let Harry spoon him. The curly had his hand on Louis’ stomach and just let his fingers caress his little tummy. 

“Whatever happens you’ll always have me.” Harry whispered into his skin pressing a little kiss into his neck and they just lay there for a few moments. 

The nerves still present and Louis knew he wouldn’t sleep again tonight, but as long as Harry’s behind him and hugging him. He stayed there for a moment and enjoyed the attention his boy was giving him. 

His boy 

Harry was his boy and he was happy with this. Harry made him happy he couldn’t deny it anymore and he wanted to make Harry happy. A happy harry is the prettiest Harry. 

“Lou?” Harry asked wanting to know if he fell asleep. 

“Hmm?” He mumbled back. 

“If you don’t want to do it I won’t mind.” Harry said,” All I ever wanted was to be together with you.” 

The boy is to good for him. He would keep hiding just to please Louis. 

“No you would mind you hate the hiding and I don’t want to care anymore.” He sighed “I want it to be us without lies or hiding.” 

“I love you Lou,” Harry whispered “You have no idea how hard it was to hide my feelings for you.” 

Louis turned around wanting to say something too but harry was first. 

“It’s was hard because I knew nothing would happen and I knew if something happened things would get ugly. It hurt because I still did everything I could to make you happy and might make you smile. Do you remember our first kiss?” 

Louis nodded. 

“Do you have no idea how hard it was to say no to that. I had wanted to kiss you for so long and I wanted to do so much more.”

Harry looked like he was going to cry but he remained tearless and continued “I think that there was not other way for things to go. You were Louis and you were perfect.” He sighed and kisses Louis head “Even if there were some bumps on the road I’m happy.” 

Louis remained silent. He had no words left that would be enough to tell Harry how sorry he was for being an asshole. So he just started crying silently into Harry’s arms finally breaking under the stress.

Louis couldn't help it he just needed to cry. He Louis Tomlinson badass motherfucker needed to cry. He cried because of he was such a dick to Harry; he cried because Harry didn't deserve any of it, he cried because he had no choice in the matter he loved Harry. He loved the boy that had been there for so long and he was so upset that he had to tell the boys knowing their thoughts would change. Even if they said things would stay normal he knew things would change. 

"Loving you has never been a choice." he eventually said a little calmer and breathing slowing down." I probably always loved you. I just never saw it clearly. I thought I loved El so that’s what kept my thoughts away from ever loving someone else. Finding out about being so head over heels in love with you flipped my world around literally and I couldn't do anything about it. The only thing I could do was let it happen or be miserable." 

His eyes filled with tears again Harry recognized some of the feelings Louis was talking about and wanted to cry with him but he kept his cool and pulled Louis so close and started mumbling "Everything will be okay, it's all going to be okay." 

Louis eventually stopped crying and just lay in Harry's arms. He could hear his heartbeat and it calmed Louis. The dudum dudum dudum making him stop sniffling and just breathing normally. He was so tired and he knew he would be waking up in a few minutes if he's right it's about 6:20 and that meant 30 minutes left to sleep. 

"I'm sorry Harry, thank you for being here for me and comforting me." He said Harry just kissed his hair and let his hands travel on Louis body pressing on his back where he knew Louis was tens and just waited for their alarm to go of. The minutes were excruciatingly long and Louis could swear they got longer every time. He wanted this over with and he wanted to be someone Harry deserved and could be proud of. 

Still 10 minutes to go till 7 am and then things would start to happen and the day would begin. 

They were both scared but this needed to happen and better now than not at all. Louis wanted to kiss harry whenever he felt like it and telling the boys got them a little closer to that reality. 

His heart almost stopped at the sound of the alarm going of. Harry had had his phone in his hand stopped it immediately. 

“Time to get up.” He said letting go of Louis and pulling him into a sitting potion. “Let’s be honest with the boys, they deserve to know.” Louis nodded and got up walking over to the bag of clothes that he took from the bus and started dressing. Harry followed his example and got dressed to. 

“We should probably text them to keep a band meeting like when we were younger.” Louis said silently. 

“Yeah we should.” Harry mumbled and took his phone and sent them a message telling them to come to their room. 

They just sat in on their bed not talking to each other and waiting for the reply texts. 

Liam was the first and told them he’d be there in 5. 

Niall was second and texted a simple I’m coming. 

Zayn arrived when his text did. 

So they were all there and were looking at them expectantly wanting to know what’s happening. 

“So… what’s going on?” Niall asked and sat down. 

Harry didn’t know if Louis wanted to tell them or he should so he looked over at him. The boy looked frozen and petrified. 

“Um… We called you here to tell you guys something.” He said in his typical slow voice and going slower than a snail. 

“Louis and I wanted to tell you guys something because you kind of deserve to know. We know everything about you and don’t think there is anything that we don’t know about you guys.” 

Harry was rambling and he wasn’t going to stop. Louis knew so out of the blue he looked up at all three of them and said “Harry’s my boyfriend. I’m gay and like Harry.” 

Now things should get better right? 

He had moved his eyes back to his fingers trying to ignore what he just said but the alarm bells were going of in his head. His heart was beating uncontrollably and his eyes were filling with tears but he wasn’t going to cry. 

So he didn’t see the smile that stretched across Zayn’s face and he didn’t hear Niall’s making a weird sound of happiness cause of the blood rushing through his veins. 

Harry had seen the distress in Louis behaviour and his first instinct was to hug him and tell him all was fine but he hadn’t seen any reaction. So he turned around and saw their Happy faces and Zayn standing there smiling. 

“Lou-“ 

“I was scared to tell and I didn’t want anything to change or you guys to start thinking different about me or Haz.” He interrupted and look up to see Niall with a smile so bright that it could beat the sun. 

“Ow come on Lou! This doesn’t change anything, I still love you!” Niall said and tackled his to the bed “We’ll always love you.” He said as the rest followed, Zayn pushing harry over and forming on big pile of pretty boys. 

“Louis I understand how hard this was for you. Thanks for telling us. Harry I’ve always known I’m sorry.” Zayn said making sure he had his hand on Louis somehow wanting him to smile again. 

“I can’t believe I never thought about you to being together for real. I mean never saw it! How did I not see that!”? He shouted annoyed at himself. “I love you for being so brave.” One of his arms around him and squeezing him a little. 

Louis was surprized at their reaction. He thought they would avoid them for at least 3 days or something like that. But they had tackled them on their own bed and almost killed them with kindness. 

He smiled “Thanks.” And his hand found Harry’s and they held on for dear life and feeling a little better now he told them. 

“Thanks.” Harry whispered into Louis ear tears shining in his eyes. “I love you.”

“Now get of us you crushing us.” He shouted. 

They all started laughing and tried getting up. Zayn tried getting up but his hand slipped and he grabbed on to Louis’ arm taking him down with him but he grabbed on to Liam and so they all landed on top of Zayn making him groan in pain. 

“Get off me!” he whined and started pushing but laughed with all of the boys. 

They didn’t hear the knock but they heard Paul sighing and said “You need to be in the arena in 5 minutes there isn’t time enough to eat.” 

“What?” Niall said, “I need my food!”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm am so sorry for the long wait. I do have an explanation here it comes I don't know where to go with this story anymore. I've written what I wanted to happen but I just don't what should happen next so here comes the question: What do you want to happen as a read what do you think should happen?  
> Enjoy this long awaited chapter sorry for the wait. xx

Things were so much better after that. They kissed whenever they wanted, with the boys knowing. When they were on the bus sleeping together squeezing into the bunk and giggling together until the annoyance of the others trying to sleep was made clear by shouting at them.

“Damn it just shut up and sleep!” and the fell quiet smiles on their faces and then bursting and laughed loudly. Liam really gets grumpy and he’s so funny whenever that happens.

But they quieted down eventually kissing softly and fall asleep cuddling. But when they woke up they moaned and groaned their back aching.  
The weeks flew by and they had been really happy Niall becoming a fangirl and once started squealing when they got all coupley and cute.  
Harry was singing and Louis just started tickling him making him giggle and laugh into the mic. Louis enjoyed the beautiful sound of the laugh that echoed through empty arena.

“Lou-u-u sssstop…i-it” He said his giggles and breaths making it come out all weird.

“Why?” He asked “You seem to like it, laughing so loud.” He laughed louder.

“Louiissssss!” He tried to turn around in the arms that had trapped him. He eventually faced Louis and made him stop by holding on to his hands and pulling them behind him kissing him sweetly on the lips.

“You’re adorable.” He whispered and let go of his hands letting his snake around Louis waist and kissed him.

“Okay that’s enough…” he could here Paul shouting from the back somewhere. “Get back to work.”

“Let them!” Niall shouted “They have been miserable for long enough I like seeing them happy.” He added a little quieter. Harry loved Niall, the little precious boy that he is.

They drifted apart and finished the sound check throwing glances at each other. They seemed to be too happy with all the things happening. They weren’t careful anymore. Louis wasn’t distant anymore and harry loved every minute of it letting him touch and be possessive. There first show out of the English speaking country, which was France. They almost got caught kissing. The only thing between them and the fans was the tour bus and it did give Louis bit of a scare. He could already see the headlines “Boy band lives up to cliché.” Or “The boy of 1D really goes in one direction and it isn’t straight.” But in French maybe.

The second night in France they had a little bit of fun tweeting each other. Just like old days. They send each other little sweet tweets calling each other names and being all fluff over the Internet to use one of the words the fans were calling it.

@Harry_Styles  
Harry Styles

@Louis_tomlinson If I wear my hair up, will my curls still seduce you? ;)

@Louis_Tomlinson  
Louis Tomlinson

They might do more… @Harry_Styles. But you’ll look perfect what ever it is that you decide to do ☺

“Ooooh Louis you so fucking adorable come here and let me kiss you!” Harry shouted from one end of the bus to the other where Louis was sitting.  
He didn’t need to be told twice and he hopped of the bench grinning and made his way over to Harry covering his face with kisses.

“I love you.” He said when they had quieted down gazing into Harry’s eyes.

“I love you too Louis.” He whispered and let himself fall down onto the couch, Louis following him by throwing a leg around harry and kissing him slow and sweet. Louis wanted something more but had jet to talk to Harry about the sex thing.

“You’re so pretty. You lips are so beautiful and soft every time I see them I want to kiss them. I love the way your eyes shine whenever we sing on stage. Your hair is so annoying whenever I sleep next to you but I really don’t care because I can feel it tickle and I know its you.”

Harry didn’t know what to say so he smiled bright and big pulled Louis in for another kiss.

The kissed felt like a promise, a promise to reply when he knew what to say and how to tell Louis how much he loved him. I was also a promise for more.  
“Let’s stay together in a room tonight I want to kiss you all night long.” Harry whispered.

Louis nodded “Okay.” He said and sat up “I think we just crossed the border.”

Their limbs untangled and Louis walked away looking through the window. Things still looked the same but the words on the road signs looked different and not French. Louis couldn’t read it but he noticed the difference.

Louis didn’t really want to go and perform in Brussels he just wanted to be with Harry and do nothing just be together.

The driver had told them it would take at least another hour to actually get to the capitol of the country so they didn’t need to get all hyper and jumping around to get out of the bus. 

They all got together in the centre of the bus and played and bantered a bit enjoying the sense of normal overflowing their senses.

Things were looking up.

That night they played the arena there and the fans were once again loud. Extremely loud. The people backstage had been talking about it and they were surprized but to Harry it felt like every show, singing screaming girls some more singing and overall enjoying himself.

He and Louis had to keep up the façade even if they were gradually telling people in there contract if clearly states that if there were romantic feeling in the group there wasn’t any coming out allowed, so the Larry shippers had to feed the fantasy with secret glances and touches. He did see some signs but not to many but at one point in the show all the fans held up a sheet of paper with the words written on them: “We love you for all you’ve done.”

It was nice but Harry couldn’t fully appreciate it, having to lie to them about his love. But some of them knew the truth that was apparently enough to get him to smile. Because that’s what he did.

Leaving was another story because the road quickly filled with people going home from the concert and the traffic started to go slower until Paul had enough of this shit (yeah he really said “I have enough of this shit.”) and told de driver to take another way back to the hotel. Luckily they came in a van and not the tour bus.  
Finally being inside the private of there hotel room Louis attacked harry with kisses and harry gasped in surprize but let it all happen, he let himself be shower with love and lust and pure need for Louis.

“O god Lou.” He said a little high-pitched.  
Harry could feel his body responding and heating up. Making his breaths come faster and his heartbeat quicken. Harry felt good and he wanted more of Louis and he wanted it now.

He started walking what he thought was heading the bed when they ran into a wall.

“Shit.” He said but Louis just giggled and took his hand leading him into the room. They had shoved the two single beds next to each other not getting a kings sized one. Stupid hotels, but those stupid hotels were quickly forgotten when Louis stopped and tried to turn around but being trapped in Harry strong long arms and his nose pressed into Louis neck where Harry lightly sucked an nibbled on his skin making it wet with saliva. Louis body reacted strongly on the tongue that passed over his skin; it made his body tingle and familiar sensation started bubble up in his abdomen.

“Harry…” he whispered in a little moan and finally turned around pulling Harry onto the bed next to him. Kissing him on his lips biting his lip and pulling a little. Louis wanted more and he let harry know by rocking his hips onto the boy that lay under him finding out he wanted it just as bad.

“Hazza can I suck you off?” he asked voice heavy with passion. Harry just nodded being a little nervous and inexperienced.

“Y-yeah but I have never… done any of this before.” He said a little bit ashamed of being a virgin in every meaning of the word.

Louis just looked at him and smiled. “Neither have I. Well not with a man at least so were both new at this.”  
Harry relaxed a bit at Louis words and just before Louis started going down he pulled him up wanting to kiss some more and needing to have Louis out of his clothes. Harry pressed his lips against Louis and let his hands go under Louis shirt pulling it up as he went. He sat up Louis legs on Harrys sides and hard on pressing against Harrys creating friction with every movement.

“Louuuu…” Harry whined hips bucking up. Louis wanted to play along with this game and grind back on harry creating a rhythm but stopped before harry could come. He pushed harry on his back and started going down. He unzipped Harry’s skinny jeans and pulled his underpants down enough for Harrys cock to stick out. Louis moaned at the sighed and wanted nothing more that to lick the precum of that gorgeous looking cock. He moved closer and licked it softly, removing all of it with his tongue and sucking a little on the head.

Harry started moaning and gasping, hips rising to seek the please Louis tongue and mouth gave him. Louis wanted to see more skin so while licking and sucking on harrys cock he pulled of the rest of harrys clothes.  
Louis tried to get more into his mouth but had a hard time because one harry was big and two he’d never done this.

“Hazza stop moving.” He giggled “Or I’ll need to hold you down.”  
Harry stopped moving his hips immediately and let Louis take him in his mouth again taking about half of it and held the rest in his hand. He licked al over it and sucked as hard as he could on it, bobbing up and down hand moving with him. He could hear Harry getting closer and closer.

“God Louis…. Soo gooood…. I’m gonna-” he cut of and Louis gave on last suck as Harry came in his mouth. Louis tried to swallow it all but had a bit of trouble with but nothing he couldn’t learn or get used to doing. He got back up on trembling legs and let himself fall next to harry, a bit of cum still on Louis face. Harrys breath was slowing down and when he turned to Louis seeing the cum and let his finger go over it scooping it up and holding it in front of Louis mouth. He opened and sucked Harrys finger clean. Harry made a high noise at that view sitting up and wanting to help Louis with his own want and need but saw a bit wet stain on his jeans.

“You already came?” Harry asked “From sucking me off?”Louis blushed “ yeah I did. Something wrong about it?” He asked and looked at harry who just smiled and told him to get naked and crawl into bed with him.

“I love you, Harry” Louis said.

“Love you to, Lou.”


	21. Chapter 21

When harry woke he blinked a couple of times not really knowing where he was and how he got there but everything came rushing back when he saw Louis sleeping next to him. 

He studied the boy that would be considered a little creepy if someone knew but harry didn’t care no one was there and he like watching Louis awake or sleeping. Louis was sleeping with his mouth hanging open a bit and that made Harry giggle. His arm was thrown over harry body and held him close. His eyes were just moving and Harry wondered what he was dreaming about. 

Maybe he dreamed about him. 

Harry smiled a little and cuddled closer to his boy kissing his neck and just trying to wake him.

Louis stirred and opened one eye and asked. “What?”

“I really really want to kiss you.” 

“This early?”

“Yes.” And harry pressed his lips against Louis.

Louis annoyance quickly vanished as he felt Harry’s soft lips against his and kissed back lovingly.

Time flew by as they explored the love they felt for each other and things looked to be going good. Both Louis and Harry were happy and that affected the entire band. 

Liam wouldn’t be as strict with them as he used to be. 

Zayn talked more than he usually did, painted bigger paintings and stopped adding so many tattoos. 

Naill didn’t really change, his big grin never faded from his eyes. 

They were all happy and everything seemed to be going in the right direction when in one performance it didn’t go according to plan.

Entering the last week of the Take Me Home tour thing were starting to go wrong.

Louis and Harry were seen holding hands but lucky the picture was vague and it was easily deniable when they would be questioned about it.

They themselves didn’t seem to notice the change on the stage but the fans did and whenever Louis and harry got closer together shouting would erupt and drown out everything else.

Zayn was the first to tell them to lay low for a bit. “People are starting to notice.” 

Louis and Harry tried and failed and things got worse. Liam and Niall even told them to stop interacting in public but that only got Louis mad and Harry hurt. Niall had looked at them a little sad but turned around and walked away.  
“Watch out management will notice and you’ll be sorry when they do.”

The last performance was even worse when the show ended they usually would go for a much needed group hug. But this time Harry kissed Louis on the cheek and the next day pictures were everywhere. A picture of the expression of surprize in Louis eyes and the fond in Harry’s. The picture oozed love and the magazines started the stories of them getting together.

At first the band didn’t know being in an airplane for 10 hours or so, but management had gotten hold of all the rumours reading the articles processing information and planning a kill the Larry rumours.

The moment they hit the ground in Heathrow Harry got a message from their management team asking him politely to come a soon as possible. Just like Louis and he just stared at his phone.

“Why would they need us now we just finished the tour.”

“Let just get it over with.” Harry answered.

When they arrived at the modest building they were immediately ushered into the meeting room they usually use but the only one there was Emily Cloon. She’s decides what goes into interviews and doesn’t get asked in interviews.

“Hello boys.” She said smiling at them no mean or vicious or anything bad just a smile Louis recognized he when talking to fans that were a little annoying.

“Hi.” Harry said returning the smile.

“Why are we here?” Louis asked immediately.

“Don’t you know?” she asked looking a bit surprised. She gave them a magazine she had been holding. Sliding it across the table. Louis caught and looked at the front page.

The was a picture of what Louis knew was them in Miami dancing and getting a little tipsy. But there was more to the picture Harry was the only one that was really recognisable but the title above the picture suggested he was the blurry person. The picture of them showed them getting a little touchy feely, like a hand on Louis bum and on under his shirt.

Harry’s first reaction was to see if Louis was okay. He thought Louis would start panicking but his face was devoid of any emotion. His eyes hard and cold and it kind of scared Harry.

“What about it?” he asked the woman.

The woman crooked an eyebrow “This isn’t good publicity.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be publicity.” Louis said. “That was during our free time.”

“Then you should have made sure no one was taking pictures. You should have told someone of us that you had a relationship so we could have been looking out for stuff like this. You should have told at least someone that we should be prepared with a cover up story. ”

“Isn’t it your job to make sure these things don’t make their way to the public? Didn’t do you job right.” He said Louis felt like ice cold and hated the person that had taken the picture. He hated the fact that this didn’t go on his terms and that he should have known not to get to cosy out in public he should have listened to the boys.

Harry cringed at the words. Louis clearly didn’t like being pushed out the closet. Harry felt good at the picture being out in the open.

“And it your job not to fuel the rumours.” she said, “So I want one of you to get a girlfriend.”

“What?” they both said “No.”

“Okay, then don’t but you’ll destroy the name of the band and you’ll probably end the careers of you friends.”


End file.
